Emral's Fan Reviews (Closed)

[Emral]

Drop a link to your level in a reply to this thread if you want a small review from me! I'll try to get back to any requests within a day, but please understand that I may be busy on some days.

[newgamer762]

Okay, here's my level
https://mega.nz/file/oo9QAT4A#XbmxojcQF ... Nzv7JVnV2E

[Emral]

Okay, here's my level
https://mega.nz/file/oo9QAT4A#XbmxojcQF ... Nzv7JVnV2E

Playthrough video (use this to observe me monkeying in a level blind and to tweak parts of the level. i recommend getting more people to play the level, too):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jz5vHXftjfA
I forgot to hit record for the first 5 minutes of my playthrough. My apologies.
I died roughly 8 times in that time, I guess. Few to test out the hitboxes on the bullets, some others at the first intersection. The first time I got to the lasers is when I realized.

Review

Spoiler: show

Platformer bullet hell is a concept I have given a lot of thought into over time, and it always has a few issues that need working out. I think this level is at the cusp of being a really good example for this niche subgenre, but it is too punishing in certain aspects to really stand out. Between bullet RNG, a breakneck pace and only giving the player a single hit to work with, learning the ropes of this level is a challenge and a half!
Concept: 10/10: It is a very ambitious and creative concept and I respect tackling it to hell and back.
Execution: 4/10: While the structure and pace is stellar if viewed in a single run, the path to seeing this is something that would benefit from being more accessible. See advice section 4 for more thoughts. This could go up to a 7 or 8 for me with a few simple tweaks.
Flavour: 7/10: The level is rather simple in its presentation and flavour but it finds some time to add great moments, like the spikes creeping up on the player, the shine on the ?-Block as it breaks after puzzling the player for a short moment, and the sudden reveal of the second Mario in the final challenge section. This could be elevated further by adding more visual elements that align with the beat, though I have concerns about visual clutter with this. The contrast between foreground and background elements has to be great.
I don't give extra credits score in my reviews.. sorry..
Verdict: 5.7/9
I had a rough time, but a good time with the level. I think by making it less punishing it can be a very fun level that encourages people to "perfect" it. See advice section 4 for details on that thought.

Advice

Spoiler: show

There is a lot of nitty-gritty stuff I go into here, so sorry, but this gets a bit long.
1. COSTUME: To get the easy thing out of the way first: You can force a costume in your level by using the "Level Settings" window. You might find this useful for making sure the player uses the correct playable and costume.


2. CAMERA:
A major point of difficulty in this level comes from the janky and uncomfortable movement of Mario as he slips and slides across moving layers. I understand the constraints of the system you're working with, but I think it MIGHT be worthwhile adjusting the setup of the level to move the camera instead of layers for the scrolling portions of the level, and to spawn new level elements relative to the camera instead of the starting screen. In the part I fumbled and didn't record I died 4 times to the pit from falling off, I think.
After typing the above paragraph looked at your code and I saw this would be a major pain in the ass... so maybe it's too risky and big a change.
The gist of the change would be to likely move camera.x and camera.y, and to do some work to keep the player on-screen (having blocks just off-screen, or modifying the section boundaries). And then if you need to spawn something, you would spawn it at camera.x + 320, camera.y - 60, instead of -200600 or whatever the numbers are.
No hard feelings if this is unfeasible. I can certainly see how it would be unfeasible after the mountain of work that got the level to work in its current system.

3. LASERS:
The telegraph for the lasers is too short. I think doubling its length would be good? I got blindsided a lot by them in the video.

4. HEALTH (this is where the execution points would come from):
I think it would be good if the level didn't try to kill you and instead handed out rewards for good performance.
If you have this piece of code for example:

Code: Select all

local damageTaken = 0
function onPlayerHarm(eventObj, harmedPlayer)
  eventObj.cancelled = true
  damageTaken = damageTaken + 1
  SFX.play(1) -- play a sound
  player:mem(0x140, FIELD_WORD, 150) -- 150 frames of invulnerability when hit.
end

With this code in effect, the player should no longer die from damage they take, other than pits. Then, you can read the damageTaken variable when the ?-block breaks to spawn in rewards. Maybe you get 5 dragon coins for doing it damageless, 4 for 1-2 hits, 3 for 3-4 hits, and so forth. It would make it easier to learn and get good at the level, and make a "perfect run" a goal to work towards. By slightly modifying the above code to only do eventObj.cancelled = true if damageTaken < 3, or < 4, you can also cap the HP you give the player as you see fit. While I think the bonus reward angle is strong, my more "tame" suggestion is to just give 2 or 3 extra hits, as 1 is very strict and punishing.
I understand this might step on the vision you had for the play experience. It's of course up to you if you agree with this change and wish to implement it.

Thanks for sending in your level! I hope this review is helpful to you. Remember to have others test as well, and watch them in a discord screen share if you can!

[newgamer762]

Okay, here's my level
https://mega.nz/file/oo9QAT4A#XbmxojcQF ... Nzv7JVnV2E

Playthrough video (use this to observe me monkeying in a level blind and to tweak parts of the level. i recommend getting more people to play the level, too):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jz5vHXftjfA
I forgot to hit record for the first 5 minutes of my playthrough. My apologies.
I died roughly 8 times in that time, I guess. Few to test out the hitboxes on the bullets, some others at the first intersection. The first time I got to the lasers is when I realized.

Review

Spoiler: show

Platformer bullet hell is a concept I have given a lot of thought into over time, and it always has a few issues that need working out. I think this level is at the cusp of being a really good example for this niche subgenre, but it is too punishing in certain aspects to really stand out. Between bullet RNG, a breakneck pace and only giving the player a single hit to work with, learning the ropes of this level is a challenge and a half!
Concept: 10/10: It is a very ambitious and creative concept and I respect tackling it to hell and back.
Execution: 4/10: While the structure and pace is stellar if viewed in a single run, the path to seeing this is something that would benefit from being more accessible. See advice section 4 for more thoughts. This could go up to a 7 or 8 for me with a few simple tweaks.
Flavour: 7/10: The level is rather simple in its presentation and flavour but it finds some time to add great moments, like the spikes creeping up on the player, the shine on the ?-Block as it breaks after puzzling the player for a short moment, and the sudden reveal of the second Mario in the final challenge section. This could be elevated further by adding more visual elements that align with the beat, though I have concerns about visual clutter with this. The contrast between foreground and background elements has to be great.
I don't give extra credits score in my reviews.. sorry..
Verdict: 5.7/9
I had a rough time, but a good time with the level. I think by making it less punishing it can be a very fun level that encourages people to "perfect" it. See advice section 4 for details on that thought.

Advice

Spoiler: show

There is a lot of nitty-gritty stuff I go into here, so sorry, but this gets a bit long.
1. COSTUME: To get the easy thing out of the way first: You can force a costume in your level by using the "Level Settings" window. You might find this useful for making sure the player uses the correct playable and costume.


2. CAMERA:
A major point of difficulty in this level comes from the janky and uncomfortable movement of Mario as he slips and slides across moving layers. I understand the constraints of the system you're working with, but I think it MIGHT be worthwhile adjusting the setup of the level to move the camera instead of layers for the scrolling portions of the level, and to spawn new level elements relative to the camera instead of the starting screen. In the part I fumbled and didn't record I died 4 times to the pit from falling off, I think.
After typing the above paragraph looked at your code and I saw this would be a major pain in the ass... so maybe it's too risky and big a change.
The gist of the change would be to likely move camera.x and camera.y, and to do some work to keep the player on-screen (having blocks just off-screen, or modifying the section boundaries). And then if you need to spawn something, you would spawn it at camera.x + 320, camera.y - 60, instead of -200600 or whatever the numbers are.
No hard feelings if this is unfeasible. I can certainly see how it would be unfeasible after the mountain of work that got the level to work in its current system.

3. LASERS:
The telegraph for the lasers is too short. I think doubling its length would be good? I got blindsided a lot by them in the video.

4. HEALTH (this is where the execution points would come from):
I think it would be good if the level didn't try to kill you and instead handed out rewards for good performance.
If you have this piece of code for example:

Code: Select all

local damageTaken = 0
function onPlayerHarm(eventObj, harmedPlayer)
  eventObj.cancelled = true
  damageTaken = damageTaken + 1
  SFX.play(1) -- play a sound
  player:mem(0x140, FIELD_WORD, 150) -- 150 frames of invulnerability when hit.
end

With this code in effect, the player should no longer die from damage they take, other than pits. Then, you can read the damageTaken variable when the ?-block breaks to spawn in rewards. Maybe you get 5 dragon coins for doing it damageless, 4 for 1-2 hits, 3 for 3-4 hits, and so forth. It would make it easier to learn and get good at the level, and make a "perfect run" a goal to work towards. By slightly modifying the above code to only do eventObj.cancelled = true if damageTaken < 3, or < 4, you can also cap the HP you give the player as you see fit. While I think the bonus reward angle is strong, my more "tame" suggestion is to just give 2 or 3 extra hits, as 1 is very strict and punishing.
I understand this might step on the vision you had for the play experience. It's of course up to you if you agree with this change and wish to implement it.

Thanks for sending in your level! I hope this review is helpful to you. Remember to have others test as well, and watch them in a discord screen share if you can!

Wow, thanks for your detailed review
I did realized some of the problems later on like the janky multi-layer platforming and the lasers, but I found it to be too troublesome to fix and decided to go with it since it's still doable.
I actually did considered to add some sort of health system, but I wanted to make the level a bit more challenging, so I just made Mario die in 1 hit. But maybe I should've made it more "friendly".
Anyways, I will probably implement some of your advice if I have the time, but I'm actually ok with the current version of the level, so idk ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[WinterSweater]

Here is my level. It is good to go, except for swapping out Toad
https://www.mediafire.com/file/ge6apl44 ... e.zip/file

[Emral]

Here is my level. It is good to go, except for swapping out Toad
https://www.mediafire.com/file/sk2376pv ... e.zip/file

Playthrough video:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=irYKRIfuZUg

Review:

Spoiler: show

The technical feat of making all these interactions in SMBX is very impressive, but I can't help but feel like I'd be having more fun if the exact same challenges were presented to me in a Minecraft Escape Room. The puzzles are all very simple as a result of having to teach so many interactions and control methods to the player, which is generally fine, but the way these puzzles are strung together gives the player very little to explore in the world, and very little to take away after beating the level. See advice section 2 for thoughts on how to improve this.
Concept: 3/10: Minecraft isn't really your concept, and I don't think there is much of a reason to use SMBX for minecraft puzzles over using Minecraft. Some points for ambition.
Execution: 7/10: I think the framework you set for yourself is very restrictive, and you did a good job within that framework. A worse execution would overwhelm the player by making them craft ludicrous things to build entire houses, or add unnecessary elements like combat.
Flavour: 4/10: It's mostly just Minecraft, and I get that that's the point, but the presentation as a series of screen-sized escape rooms isn't super interesting in terms of personality or flavour for me. The scarecrow and the rainbow blocks are some things I found flavourful. More on this as well in advice section 2.
I don't give extra credits score in my reviews.
Verdict: 4.8/9
A lot of effort has gone into transferring all the mechanics. I'm not the biggest fan of the concept, admittedly, but the level does a good job at pacing the introduction of new mechanics and doesn't overstay its welcome.

Advice:

Spoiler: show

1. Controls UI
The controls are really hard to understand and memorize, and every few puzzles has a new sign with new controls. For the majority of the video I was under the impression you had to hold run + down in order to place a block, and right up until the end I confused the input of Jump and AltJump and kept picking up blocks when I intended to place some.
My suggestion is to add a controls UI in the bottom left corner, and to make it context sensitive. For example while sneaking it will show "Jump": Place block, "Run": Pick up block. And then only after you can slot switch, new lines are added about the input for that. Pick up and use instructions are shown when the respective item is next to you/selected in your inventory. This would make it easier to understand the controls at a glance without needing so much text in the signs.

2. Expanding the world, adding secret solutions
One of the things I think is fundamentally boring about the series-of-escape-rooms style of design that often shows up in chocolate contests is that all the rooms just have a single solution and puzzles are lacking that eureka moment you want from a good puzzle. You have a REALLY strong set of tools here where players can perform infinite permutations of actions to reach a goal. So having just ONE goal per room seems a bit like a missed opportunity for the freedom of this type of puzzle.
Some ideas:

• If the challenge is for example to reach up a tower of 8 blocks, like in that vertical section, why not put a sneaky ledge that seems unreachable and requires the player to smuggle in some excess blocks from the previous puzzle?
• The sand puzzle is used exactly once and never again. What if there was a second sand target somewhere and the mystery was where to find another sand block to carry it there?
• Perhaps there could be a spot near the end of the level where a player with extensive minecraft knowledge could cheat their way to a hidden area by clever use of blocks that the level doesn't expect you to use together. Perhaps there are some blocks in the floor that could be leveraged for this but which have been used interchangably with dirt so far.

I think there are a lot of ways in which the structure of the level could be broken to allow these kinds of moments to flourish. The reward for them could be as simple as a minecraft house with a villager in it that says something cute [[flavourful moments or locations to flesh out the world]], or it could be a powerful block that lets you cheat on some upcoming puzzles [[an item floating lonely on a shrine centered on a screen, for example, would be a striking image]].

Pacing is a concern if the level is much bigger, because 15 minutes for a single run without running into a softlock, getting stuck on a screen, or having another issue is very long already. I think cutting a weaker setup like the bridge building, which has no creative input from the player, to make room for such a bonus challenge is a worthy tradeoff.
On the topic of the strength of a setup, I think my favourite one in the level was excavating the head that's like 8 blocks down in the dirt. It used the order of block placement very cleverly, and made me feel smart for figuring it out even though I understand it somewhat railroads you into the solution. It's a cool screen. But that's just as an aside.

Of course, whether you take any of this advice is completely up to you. These are just one impatient action player's thoughts on a very slow-paced puzzle level after all. Whatever is the case, though, ...

Thank you for sending in your level! As usual, I hope this is helpful, and please make sure to get thoughts from others as well to balance out my biases.

[WinterSweater]

Thanks for the advice!

Spoiler: show

-The problem with open exploration is that players can easily get stuck if they can't remove blocks from the sides or below. I can try to introduce that during the cave section.
-It is difficult to make alternative paths on 2d levels, but I think I can combine some of the puzzles to be more interesting. I'll give both a go
-Controls UI sounds good too. I wanted there to be more options for removing blocks, so it is easier when playing on different controllers

[Radiance]

Here's my level! Looking forward to your feedback https://drive.google.com/file/d/1k-IK-9 ... sp=sharing

Name not final

[Emral]

Here's my level! Looking forward to your feedback https://drive.google.com/file/d/1k-IK-9 ... sp=sharing

Name not final

Playthrough video:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f1dn3a_agw0
I play the level twice in this review. The second playthrough contains some "weird things" I do that normal players might not do, to try and break the level.

Review:

Spoiler: show

I really like the concept! You find clever ways of hiding things from the player without making progress unfair or frustrating. I like the progression into the storm clouds as well. In terms of visuals and design the level is a little barebones. The boss came very suddenly, and I can't help but feel like there is more potential unexplored with the ideas here.
Concept: 8/10: It's a strong concept, but not quite blockbuster status.
Execution: 4/10: You combine your concealment idea well with some things like Thwomp, Foo Cloud and Lakitu, but it doesn't significantly iterate on the idea and has no particularly surprising or standout applications of the concept.
Flavour: 5/10: The visual progression is very nice, and the foreground smiley clouds made me smile because they look so kind. I would have liked to see some of your fun writing to tie the level together and add a touch of humour.
I don't give extra credits score in my reviews.
Verdict: 4.7/9
Great concept, but a bit half-baked at the moment. I have a few things in the advice section that could up its flavour and maybe iterate on the mechanic without being too high-effort.

Advice:

Spoiler: show

This advice section just contains brainstorming on how the idea could be recontextualized for one-off jokes or further exploration of the level's mechanics.
I think the level is greatly improved if a pre-boss section is added for the last checkpoint, and some NPCs near the start remark on how Lakitu ruins their life (by making their glasses foggy, causing flying traffic jams, etc).

1. Something that turns into something else when it passes behind a foreground cloud
This could be accomplished by using a LoZ keypad that you need a key for. At the top of the screen is a key above a turn block and beside it, a mushroom block above another turn block. You need to throw something up to get them down. Either item gets covered in cloud particles when it falls through a cloud to get to you. When you hold it and walk around, the particles clear, revealing that the key turned into a mushroom block! And vice-versa.

2. Using shadows to foreshadow something falling down from very very high up off-screen
The player should stick around on this screen to see what it is! Best if it's something silly. While they're waiting, maybe other NPCs also show up to look at it.

3. Using the top-half-cloud-cover in a platforming section before the boss
A section where spinies randomly rain down as you try to platform across the skies. Sometimes the spinies are something else, like a sumo bros lightning or a powerup!

4. Fake enemies that don't have a shadow
Best used with thwomps. It'd be something where you have to get through a ceiling covered in thwomps, so it might be hard to apply in a horizontal section. One thwomp is friendly and has no shadow. Maybe it is for a bonus.
4.1 If you have a type of platform that casts a shadow, the same concept could be applied to those.

5. Moving foreground clouds that obstruct things more dynamically
Very half-baked idea but it could be leveraged for a more free-form collection of screens, where you have to deal with jumping enemies.

Just some ideas to get the mind gears turning. Use all, any or none to your heart's content.

Thank you for sending in your level. I hope this review helps!

[Radiance]

Review:
I really like the concept! You find clever ways of hiding things from the player without making progress unfair or frustrating. I like the progression into the storm clouds as well. In terms of visuals and design the level is a little barebones. The boss came very suddenly, and I can't help but feel like there is more potential unexplored with the ideas here.
Concept: 8/10: It's a strong concept, but not quite blockbuster status.
Execution: 4/10: You combine your concealment idea well with some things like Thwomp, Foo Cloud and Lakitu, but it doesn't significantly iterate on the idea and has no particularly surprising or standout applications of the concept.

I did kinda cut it short, abandoning some setups and NPCs to make the boss fight simple but ig I cut it a bit too much

Flavour: 5/10: The visual progression is very nice, and the foreground smiley clouds made me smile because they look so kind. I would have liked to see some of your fun writing to tie the level together and add a touch of humour.

I'm inclined to do the opposite, making the clouds be angry or gloomy as it matches the mood of the background at the last section. However, I'll add the happy clouds with dialogues in secret areas.

I don't give extra credits score in my reviews.
Verdict: 4.7/9
Great concept, but a bit half-baked at the moment. I have a few things in the advice section that could up its flavour and maybe iterate on the mechanic without being too high-effort.

Thanks for the review!

Advice:
This advice section just contains brainstorming on how the idea could be recontextualized for one-off jokes or further exploration of the level's mechanics.
I think the level is greatly improved if a pre-boss section is added for the last checkpoint, and some NPCs near the start remark on how Lakitu ruins their life (by making their glasses foggy, causing flying traffic jams, etc).

I do have an idea for a story for this but decided not to add it as of now

Potential Story: show

There will be a fake SMW Goal Post and next to it is group of clouds. As Mario walks to it, it reveals that the clouds cover up a pit, and Mario dies. Lakitu, the camera guy, follows Mario down the cliff and they will fight because Lakitu films so far that the foo clouds obstruct the player's view on Mario.

I decided not to add it because the level feels like it's an actual Lakitu domain instead of a place where Mario and Lakitu decided to hike, but I do agree it feels abrupt, so ig I'm adding the cutscene for context.

1. Something that turns into something else when it passes behind a foreground cloud
This could be accomplished by using a LoZ keypad that you need a key for. At the top of the screen is a key above a turn block and beside it, a mushroom block above another turn block. You need to throw something up to get them down. Either item gets covered in cloud particles when it falls through a cloud to get to you. When you hold it and walk around, the particles clear, revealing that the key turned into a mushroom block! And vice-versa.

I think this is good especially since I turn the one of the mines in the second phase into a mushroom block. Ig it addresses the slight confusion on the second phase on why one of the mines turn into a mushroom block. I'll keep this idea in mind

2. Using shadows to foreshadow something falling down from very very high up off-screen
The player should stick around on this screen to see what it is! Best if it's something silly. While they're waiting, maybe other NPCs also show up to look at it.

I feel sad I didn't think of this one lmao. Will add it in a secret area probably

3. Using the top-half-cloud-cover in a platforming section before the boss
A section where spinies randomly rain down as you try to platform across the skies. Sometimes the spinies are something else, like a sumo bros lightning or a powerup!

It meshes well with the first phase of the boss! I'll add it as the last section before the boss

4. Fake enemies that don't have a shadow
Best used with thwomps. It'd be something where you have to get through a ceiling covered in thwomps, so it might be hard to apply in a horizontal section. One thwomp is friendly and has no shadow. Maybe it is for a bonus.
4.1 If you have a type of platform that casts a shadow, the same concept could be applied to those.

I'll consider it as a way to another secret area, but I'm a bit iffy on it since there's a millisecond where the players feel betrayed when they don't see a shadow but Thwomp still falls under them

5. Moving foreground clouds that obstruct things more dynamically
Very half-baked idea but it could be leveraged for a more free-form collection of screens, where you have to deal with jumping enemies.

I tried to make the foreground clouds move faster but they feel dizzying to look at. I'll consider this one but I can't promise on this

Just some ideas to get the mind gears turning. Use all, any or none to your heart's content.

Thanks for the ideas!

Also that mushroom stacking on the first phase lmao
I kinda want to keep it but it's too easy to be found so ig I'll fix it

[Mal8rk]

Here's my level! Please review it honestly and look for bugs:
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1GXCT7g ... sp=sharing

[Emral]

Here's my level! Please review it honestly and look for bugs:
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1GXCT7g ... sp=sharing

Playthrough video:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5TgO00krl9g
I play the level twice in this review. The first playthrough is using normal human mashing speed. The second playthrough is using maniac mashing speed. Mashing is very physically straining, so please understand that not everyone can mash at the ideal rate.

Review:

Spoiler: show

At the core of this level is a conflict between the wish to create interesting obstacles for a variant of Blue Yoshi's flight ability, and the presence of a time limit, and I think that, were the time limit heavily reduced and the obstacles fleshed out to reap all the benefits of Blue Yoshi 2.0, I would enjoy the level a lot more. As it stands, the level struggles to commit to a significant variety in challenge, as it stretches 2 enemies and a bottomless pit out over 6 minutes to reach a contest level-length runtime, while every screen is constrained by the time you have left to fly. I have a lot of thoughts on the design in the advice section. Sorry for the bummer opening...
Concept: 4/10: I think Blue Yoshi is a decent concept, but I have to factor in the mashing and the time limit, which drag it down for me. I would prefer to just fly anywhere.
Execution: 5/10: It's more of an 8/10 if this were a contest review, but I have some "complete overhaul maniac" ideas in the advice section. I don't expect you to take them seriously, but maybe they can give some perspective on this score.
Flavour: 3/10: The level has a nice palette, but it looks pretty empty in its presentation. It might help to have some visual variety, like caves from BGOs or moving parallax clouds during the autoscroller to amp up the feeling of speed.
I don't give extra credits score in my reviews.
Verdict: 3.7/9
It's a common pitfall in a Chocolate Contest to just forego Mario gameplay entirely and instead focus on a new mechanic dreamt up from nothing. It's a really tricky balance to get right, and I'm a big stinker when it comes to these kinds of things. Like I said above, I think the execution is about as good as it gets with the current set of mechanics, so it's likely your scores in the actual contest will end up much higher without any major changes, but this thread is my advice corner, so I always review with what I think would be the "theoretical ideal" in mind. So keep that in mind when examining this feedback.

Advice:

Spoiler: show

I will start with the simple and impactful, and then dive further and further into the ridiciulously-high-effort and maybe-best-kept-for-a-future-level-using-this-mechanic tier stuff. Novel mechanics like this (it's basically Blue Yoshi but nobody ever uses Blue Yoshi so I'll call it novel) get the idea-gears turning rapidly, and the first run is always a bit of a prototype. Doesn't mean the idea should be ticked off as done-and-dusted afterwards :p

A1. If not remove, reduce timer by 50%. The level will not be significantly more difficult by letting the player ascend twice as high as they can on their current charge. This change is especially nice if #3 is impossible.
A2. Allow holding the button instead of mashing. This is mostly just to spare people's fingers.
A3. Change the 2nd screen so that players are forced to land before diving into a bottomless pit. This seriously got me on both of my runs, no joke.
A4. Give the player their regular jump when jumping from the ground first, then start flapping once the player's 0x11C offset has reached 0. Starting with a flap just feels kinda janky.
A5. GameData the reverse death event to auto-skip it on subsequent runs.

Cool, that's the easy stuff. Let's get into effortville.

B1. Embrace a more open structure. This gameplay mechanic does best in open areas, but all sections are a screen tall or a screen wide. You saw me try to go the wrong way in many places in the video, because I thought it'd be rad if I went there and there was something there.
An easy way to add openness to the level without impeding on existing design would be to have a suspicious hole in the ceiling of a horizontal section that leads to an optional area. What would the reward be? That's always the tricky thing, isn't it... It doesn't have to be tangibly useful in the level, it can just be an acknowledgement of the player's cleverness. A 1-up, an NPC, or a scenic shot of the landscape would do just fine.
I keep suggesting optional areas in these reviews and it really makes me disappointed that the SMB3 Chest NPC didn't win in the head-to-head for Beta 5. Dang!

B2. If you can come up with a better obstacle type to weave into the level (like a bramble maze for instance), I would suggest removing every red arrow, at least in the autoscroller. That's just functionally equivalent to an instakill block, so why even give mushrooms if those arrows will kill you anyway, right?

B3. More obstacle types in general. I'm not a fan of this "use as few enemies as possible" type design. SMBX comes with like 600 enemies out of the box, and I can't believe none of these would be interesting to dodge in this mode. WARNING: This point is HEAVILY biased toward what I like. Take it with a TABLESPOON OF SALT.

And the stupid and unworkable, the "save it for the sequel" stuff:

C1. Metroidvania
This is a continuation of B1, but if you stretch the open areas out to their natural extreme, you literally get the videogame Owlboy. It actually works pretty well to just dump the player in an open area, show them a locked gate with 2 un-lit towers beside, and give them cables leading left and right and tell them to figure it out. They can fly all over the place, still constrained by the timer, and they just need to figure out how to get to the endpoint of the cable by weaving around a nonlinear area. It's a kind of emergent fun that's sadly absent in more room-by-room level structures, but one which I can see this mechanic, especially with the timer intact, excel at. Something for the sequel, perhaps?

C2. Blue Yoshi.
Near the start of the review I kept referring to this owl as Blue Yoshi. They are pretty similar in how they work, aren't they? I guess you don't get the benefits of Yoshi's tongue. But maybe having that would allow for a more interesting design? This is far outside the scope of this level, especially with the deadline encroaching so soon, but you caaaan get an auto-infinite-flight Blue Yoshi that cannot be dismounted and will not flee when hurt with maybe a dozen lines of lua, by manipulating the player's memory in certain ways (setting mount, cancelling onPlayerHarm, disabling spinjump, forcing yoshi wings active). If you want to make a level like this in the future that also features a "weapon" in the form of Yoshi's tongue, consider this an easy cheat code to get that, lol.

I know I come off as a downer across large chunks of this review, but don't let my extreme harshness of original mechanics introduced in a really tight timeline overwhelm you. Thank you very much for sending in, and I hope this is helpful. Make sure to get others' opinions as well, as usual.

[Marioman2007]

Here's mine! Hope you have as much fun as I had while making it.
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1V6rm2Z ... sp=sharing

[KurttheKing]

Here's my level! I hope you enjoy it ^^
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1NN5oF7 ... sp=sharing

[Emral]

Here's mine! Hope you have as much fun as I had while making it.
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1V6rm2Z ... sp=sharing

Playthrough video:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9JzQiMwfN84
After every death I suffer from a sounds.ini error message regarding shell-hit not being found.

Review:

Spoiler: show

It's a fairly middle-of-the-line Megaman level. You put me in a tough spot here because I signed up to review Mario levels, but also I judged a Megaman contest in the past. So which one shall it be... a bit of both?
For SMBX: This is a very novel idea. You clearly put a lot of work into updating the Megaman playable to improve his gamefeel. Much like with many mechanical overhaul-type stages, this stage thus also carries the burden of introducing the player to everything this new version of the character can do. I think while the level does a decent job at that, the momentum platforming mechanics (slide jump, conveyor walls and swinging platforms) are mechanics that didn't work for me on such a precision platforming-based playable.
As a Megaman level: Like I said at the beginning, it's very middle of the line. Visually, it's beautiful, and the level goes through a decent progression of obstacles and difficulty. What I'm missing is thematic cohesion and enemy variety. You sadly chose two of the most generic and disliked (for their shield attribute) enemies, and then paired them with a beetle whose dayjob is to telefrag you into the abyss. The level also doesn't end in a sort of ultimate climax of its various ideas, which is something I used to quite enjoy when judging Megaman contest levels.
Concept: 8/10: Undeniably, there is a lot of untapped potential making Mega Man levels in SMBX. The cynic in me says to just use Mega Man maker, but bringing that culture over here could widen some horizons. Minus points for momentum platforming, because it inspired the super tight slide jumps that seem pixel perfect to impossible to me.
Execution: 5/10: Because of what I said in the "as a megaman level" section. It's also a bit long, and a bit of a bummer that there is no boss. But I understand that deadlines are deadlines.
Flavour: 7/10: It looks very clean and polished. The music is the most generic choice imaginable. There is no thematic cohesion. Voila, average score.
I don't give extra credits score in my reviews.
Verdict: 5.7/9
It's a common pitfall in a Chocolate Contest to just forego Mario gameplay entirely and instead focus on a new mechanic dreamt up from nothing. It's a really tricky balance to get right, and I'm a big stinker when it comes to these kinds of things. It wows with its novelty, but it kind of cheats by coming in as a heavyweight into a competition of lightweights. When battling it out against other Megaman levels, it'd struggle to impress.

Advice:

Spoiler: show

Not much to say here, I think I explained my perspective pretty well. Just some stuff regarding momentum:

1. Some of the slope jumps I really struggled with. Are they really this tight or did I misunderstand the tutorial? You might want to verify their possibility. Especially that one three-tile spike jump with pits. I was very lucky that green spikes were broken in this version.

2. Sometimes it is unclear which path is forward and which is bonus (star coin 4). Some mega man levels put an indicator of the bonus route. Consider it.

3. In the room with the final star coin I return in the video because I saw an opening to the left. If the spikes worked, I'd have died there. Put a wall so players don't die.

I could go on about the design, but I think I already did enough of that in the review section, and most things I could suggest would basically require the level to be re-thought from the ground up. So I'll stop here.

Thanks for sending in your level! Good luck with the contest.

Added in 31 minutes 35 seconds:

Here's my level! I hope you enjoy it ^^
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1NN5oF7 ... sp=sharing

Playthrough video:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qejOUPVfeXw

Review:

Spoiler: show

It's a bit of a 50/50 mix of fun setups about getting pushed around (spikes, bumpties), and slow setups with a lot of waiting (chomp balls, boss). The enemies struggle to synergize with each other, which makes individual obstacles in the level feel fairly disconnected from each other, and the boss doesn't involve anything the level previously taught, either.
Concept: 5/10: I think a level based around getting bumped around would've been really fun. Everything involving the chomps and boss on the other hand I don't like. How about 10/10 for the first of these, 0/10 for the other, and divide by 2.
Execution: 3/10: A lack of synergy and clear direction for the level, plus the boredom factor drag this score down for me.
Flavour: 4/10: There is some whimsy in this level which I enjoyed. The boss's hurt frame, being able to see its icon before the door (I thought that'd be the boss door!) and cases where enemies take each other out were fun to see. Some counterbalancing by everything in the level being cyan making things hard to see (especially the semisolids!)
Verdict: 3.4/9
I think there's a kernel of a really silly and fun level concept hidden in here that sometimes shines through. When bumpties throw you all around, snow balls kill bumpties, you have to redirect a snowball (shoutouts to star coin 3). I wish the level leaned more into that angle and embraced the whimsy. As it stands, it's a pretty middle-of-the-line level.

Advice:

Spoiler: show

1. My main advice is to reduce the amount of waiting in the level. The second star coin and boss stand out negatively in this regard, as do sections where you are blocked by a brick wall.
I wonder if the chomps cause turn blocks to turn. If they do, you can build bridges over spike pits out of that to create a dynamic obstacle involving brick destruction without causing waiting.

2. I noticed it was easy to run past enemies at thimes. Use of spawnzones.lua would ensure that enemies on generators spawn further off-screen and the screen is ready for action when you get there.

Unfeasible idea:
A whimsical version of this level would super hard lean into the bumpties and spikes. Consider spikes that vomit up bumpties and throw them like curling stones. Or spikes that very painfully vomit up those chomp stones (if they were a tad faster and thus scarier). Use of bumpers in a large vertical corridor to create a pinball-like ascent with bumpties and snowballs bouncing all over. Spikes vomiting up spikes vomiting up spikes...
I digress.

Thanks for sending in your level! Enjoy the contest and make sure to have others play as well.

[Marioman2007]

First of all, thank you for such a detailed review!

Some of the slope jumps I really struggled with. Are they really this tight or did I misunderstand the tutorial? You might want to verify their possibility.

You're supposed to hold one of the directions while sliding and then pressing the jump button.
I'll see what I can do to make the slide jump smoother.

Especially that one three-tile spike jump with pits. I was very lucky that green spikes were broken in this version.

This and the shell-hit SFX error are kinda weird. They don't happen for me.
My speculation is that the insta-kill hurt block is broken in the dev version of smbx, the red spikes are just the basegame instakill blocks whose lua file has been copied without any edits.

2. Sometimes it is unclear which path is forward and which is bonus (star coin 4). Some mega man levels put an indicator of the bonus route. Consider it.

Nice suggestion, I'll do that.

3. In the room with the final star coin I return in the video because I saw an opening to the left. If the spikes worked, I'd have died there. Put a wall so players don't die.

I actually changed this after sending the level but forgot to update the link, my bad.

[MrNix]

Here's my level. I'm hoping its not too difficult. Looking forward to feedback.
https://mega.nz/file/n3Ix1DRZ#6iH27WzMv ... eYzSgUcL2U

[nyxtheblazingdragon]

Here's my level, here's hoping nothing is too broken
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1GVLvLT ... sp=sharing

[Emral]

Here's my level. I'm hoping its not too difficult. Looking forward to feedback.
https://mega.nz/file/n3Ix1DRZ#6iH27WzMv ... eYzSgUcL2U

Playthrough video:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w3UH7_NhOpg
Sorry, it seems I forgot to record audio this time.

Review:

Spoiler: show

Either you're one of the best players of this game, or you play in God Mode and need to stop that immediately. My rule of thumb when making levels is that the difficulty is alright if I can beat it without powerups without spending more than a handful of deaths. This level is a slaughterhouse even with powerups!
I got pretty used to it at the 1st checkpoint, and grew to enjoy the type of one-tile-jumps by the end of that. I was ready for the level to be done when it transitioned to the new aesthetic. It continuing for another half, and then a spammy boss, really lost me.
Concept: 4/10: Nothing too novel in this level, but I did enjoy the thwimp jumps and roto disc jumps.
Execution: 3/10: Very long and hard and not a lot of powerups. The thwomps for a bonus were neat.
Flavour: 3/10: It looks alright. There is nothing noteworthy to point out.
Verdict: 2.9/9
Sadly just a level I have very little to say about. It's raw platforming, for better or worse. A lot of what I look for is really stuff that surprises the player and subverts expectations to create gameplay beyond placing down a lot of NPCs and blocks in funky patterns. Hence the low score.

Advice:

Spoiler: show

Most important: Play the level without powerups and without cheats. The second half especially is something I blazed through with a powerup but which looks like it can just kill you with cheap shots all over the place.
This is really something everyone making a contest level should take to heart, but. If you make a hard level because you wanna show how pro your platforming making skills are, and everyone else thinks the same way, then judges have an exhausting marathon of really hard levels ahead of them and will get grumpy at spending hours on each level. #savethejudges

Minor 1. Mad thwomps surprised me a lot. If they had a different sprite they would be easier to tell.
Minor 2. More powerups between CP1 and CP2
Minor 3. Nerf the boss. 3 hits per phase, longer attack interval, fewer projectiles, no thwomps.
Minor 4. Check for offscreen thwomp cheap shots. The giant thwomp at the end of CP1 area is very mean.

Major change that you won't do but: For my money, just end the level after the elevator ride down and it's a short and sweet package.

Thanks for sending in your level! Good luck with the contest.

I'll get to the other level soon. I have an errand to run first.

Added in 1 hour 56 minutes 38 seconds:

Here's my level, here's hoping nothing is too broken
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1GVLvLT ... sp=sharing

Playthrough video:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DTEnIbs9kms
Pause at the end as I checked the readme for a star coin count. Then I hit stop recording and only after found out that I did indeed miss one down a random pipe. Hope that's not too big of a bummer!

Review:

Spoiler: show

Pretty good level around a solid idea. It's a little ambush-heavy, because SMBX's shell speed is very very fast by default, and this is compounded by the darkness making it very hard to see things. If you make some edits to fix the ambushiness this is pretty solid. The length is perfect. Please don't add a boss.
Concept: 8/10: It's a strong concept that combines enemies and environment in clever ways.
Execution: 6/10: It's a very basic execution, but it lends itself well to fun platforming challenges. There is potential upward here by adding more variety. I will make some suggestions in the advice section, but feel free to ignore them since they might be too ham-fisted so close to the deadline. I just wanna share how I like to think about these things.
Flavour: 7/10: The vibe is good, and I enjoyed the message boxes giving the level a bit of story. It's pretty standard, but above average. Minor nitpick: Level does not feel like the music. Something more "night in the forest" than "i'm gonna run through this japanese house and flip all the furniture" might fit better in my opinion, but don't feel pressured to change it. This is just the most appropriate place for me to share that thought.
Verdict: 6.1/9
Just a sold level. Thanks for making it short and sweet and fun and simple. Check out advice below to see if anything helps you.

Advice:

Spoiler: show

1.
You can change the speed of shells in SMBX by using a bit of lua in function onStart. Try: Defines.projectilespeedx = 4. (or 5) The default is 7.1 which is really fast. Note that if you slow down shells, you will have to move your koopas around to make sure certain bounces still work. This can be a good tradeoff though, because at a slower speed, the player will be able to hear and react to the shell before it hits them in the face.

2. If you want to have a more gradual progression in difficulty, you could add light npc config to a special koopa shell (yellow koopa shell?) to make it light up. This also introduces another element of push-and-pull to the level, as the player might want to grab a shell to replace their light block, but it's a lot more frail and they can use it as a weapon to protect themselves, at the cost of now being in complete darkness. Maybe interesting?

3. If you add jumphurt=1 to the NPC config of your light block I will no longer be able to bounce off it.

4. You could make the important pipe a different color so that it's easier to spot.

5. I would recommend HEAVILY reducing the contrast of background objects in the post-checkpoint section. The difference between the block and BGO beams is far too subtle. Even if it's a dark level, I think this aspect should be easy to tell at a glance, because you wanna watch out for koopa shells and not what's solid and what's not.

6. I promised sharing a bit more about my thought process. Some of that is the glowing shell as it softly introduces shell ambush in the dark while also merging the ideas of moving light source and ambush. Other ideas would be to try and integrate ninjis into the ambushes. This could be rustling bushes that have Ninjis emerge from behind if you go past them. I think that one is a bit much to add this late in, but something that I really like to see people do is take SMBX's built-in mechanics and combining them in unexpected ways, and if you can find harmonies like that, you can get some nifty design out of it that works well with each other.
It also adds some potential for jokes. Not in this level, but if, say, you had those ambush ninjis, and then a few bushes later it's not a ninji that pops out, but a beach koopa that jumps out in its sliding frame! And then it lands on a higher ledge to kick a shell around to ricochet into you. Or having some of the glowing shells, but instead of being kicked they wake up and turn into koopa paratroopas that jump around!
Again, very much out of scope for this level, but one-off stuff like that is where I like to think for neat flavour.

Thanks for sending in your level! Enjoy the contest and remember to ask others to play your level too.

__________________________________________________________________

Announcement

The deadline is almost upon us, and I have unfortunate news:
1. I will be unable to play levels on the Monday of the deadline.
2. I live in an early timezone.

This means that the latest time I can accept levels for review is Sunday, December 1st, 1PM GMT/8AM EST/5AM PST. Afterwards, I have to close up shop.

I'm sorry if I can't get to any of the crunch-lords' submissions in time.
I'm sure someone else will be able to assist in the final testing for the last 2 days.
Godspeed.

[MrNix]

Thank you for the feedback.

When I was testing the level earlier myself it was alot harder and I still didn't realise how harsh the level was until now.

If you make a hard level because you wanna show how pro your platforming making skills are, and everyone else thinks the same way, then judges have an exhausting marathon of really hard levels ahead of them and will get grumpy at spending hours on each level. #savethejudges

I understand now that making a level focused on hard platforming is dumb. The difficulty of the level will be reduced to have more platform space, less of spinning fireballs, etc.

Minor 1. Mad thwomps surprised me a lot. If they had a different sprite they would be easier to tell.

Thats something I forgot about. These thwomps will get a different color, probably red.

Minor 2. More powerups between CP1 and CP2

Will do. Couple of fireflowers and some leafs will help with making the level easier.

Minor 4. Check for offscreen thwomp cheap shots. The giant thwomp at the end of CP1 area is very mean.

The large thwomp at the end will be removed and some indicators will be put in place to show where some of the mad ones are.

Major change that you won't do but: For my money, just end the level after the elevator ride down and it's a short and sweet package.

Considering the level's length and how the second half is really different I might actually do that and use the later half for something else in the future.

Once again thank you for the overrall feedback.