Share anything artistic that you've made, like short stories, drawings, and music.
Moderator: Userbase Moderators
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Raster
- Banned
- Posts: 798
- Joined: Fri Dec 20, 2013 12:35 pm
Postby Raster » Mon Jun 09, 2014 5:31 pm
The comic clearly has a lot of issues that you refuse to address. First off, the drawings are rather poor: your placement of text balloons is pretty nonsensical and the comic isn't readable sometimes. I would advise you to use Comic Sans. Secondly, while the characters are rather unique, the aesthetics are generally lacking. It's hard to differentiate objects and characters need more distinct features to stand out.
Also, the character lines are unfunny and the jokes are repetitive. No real storytelling or plot is present; the characters do random things that aren't funny at all most of the time. Seriously, it was promising at first, but your comics have really gone downhill. You also refuse to take advice and continue to shamelessly advertise your comics everywhere, and that made it unpopular here.
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Hawkeyeone
- Spike

- Posts: 254
- Joined: Fri Dec 20, 2013 11:01 pm
Postby Hawkeyeone » Mon Jun 09, 2014 9:44 pm
Raster wrote:The comic clearly has a lot of issues that you refuse to address. First off, the drawings are rather poor: your placement of text balloons is pretty nonsensical and the comic isn't readable sometimes.
I never thought this was too big of a problem, but when I think it really looks cramped and unreadable I redraw it.
Raster wrote:Also, the character lines are unfunny and the jokes are repetitive. No real storytelling or plot is present; the characters do random things that aren't funny at all most of the time.
Well, it's a comic where Hawkeyeone buys a Windows 95 that can talk. What big thing do you want me to do with that?
(Note: This comic was going to be much bigger, but that version would've had more panels than every Attack of the Kitchen Spambots comic combined. That's a big no-no.)
Raster wrote:Seriously, it was promising at first, but your comics have really gone downhill. You also refuse to take advice and continue to shamelessly advertise your comics everywhere, and that made it unpopular here.
Oh great, a "this comic used to be good and now its not good" post. Well, first of all, what "golden age" did this comic have and when did it happen? You don't specify anything.
Second, I take advice. But if it seems like I advertise a lot, its because no one pays attention to it. There's only 2 replies relating to this comic that I poured so much work on to.
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bossedit8
- Banned
- Posts: 6838
- Joined: Fri Dec 20, 2013 12:35 pm
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Contact:
Postby bossedit8 » Tue Jun 10, 2014 3:16 am
Well, as far as I can tell, you did put a lot of effort into the different variety of character so they are not looking always the exact same frame. Otherwise I can't tell much of the story if there is anything wrong though.
Edit: Forgot to ask, what paint program are you using to make this?
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Hawkeyeone
- Spike

- Posts: 254
- Joined: Fri Dec 20, 2013 11:01 pm
Postby Hawkeyeone » Tue Jun 10, 2014 9:33 pm
Knux wrote:The comics, to put is simply, just aren't funny anymore. My honest advice is to stop inside jokes, and focus more on a joke.
Some of the s7 episodes are so bad that is become humorous, but not in the intended way.
Try parody something, like a video game. Just try write funny content.
So, basically what you're saying is that this comic sucks.
That's okay, I have a stock one ready-
Is that poster familiar to anyone? How about this:
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FanofSMBX
- Ludwig von Koopa

- Posts: 3878
- Joined: Sun Dec 22, 2013 12:01 pm
Postby FanofSMBX » Tue Jun 10, 2014 9:38 pm
What's Hawk in, a box of Kleenex?
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Hawkeyeone
- Spike

- Posts: 254
- Joined: Fri Dec 20, 2013 11:01 pm
Postby Hawkeyeone » Wed Jun 11, 2014 10:15 am
Serious Hawkeyeone uploaded.
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FutureNyanCat
- Eerie

- Posts: 799
- Joined: Fri Dec 20, 2013 8:39 pm
- Flair: Species: Felis robotus
- Pronouns: He/Him
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Contact:
Postby FutureNyanCat » Fri Jun 13, 2014 7:02 am
Hawkeye-stick?
Stickfighting in a maze won't do. Was so weird, though.
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Hawkeyeone
- Spike

- Posts: 254
- Joined: Fri Dec 20, 2013 11:01 pm
Postby Hawkeyeone » Sat Jun 14, 2014 10:03 am
New re-releases for the future:
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Hawkeyeone
- Spike

- Posts: 254
- Joined: Fri Dec 20, 2013 11:01 pm
Postby Hawkeyeone » Sat Jun 14, 2014 5:15 pm
THE WONDERFUL GUY THAT EVERYONE LIKES
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ragont
- Dolphin

- Posts: 1173
- Joined: Fri Dec 20, 2013 11:05 pm
Postby ragont » Sat Jun 14, 2014 6:02 pm
why
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zlaker
- Reznor

- Posts: 2844
- Joined: Fri Dec 20, 2013 1:46 pm
Postby zlaker » Sat Jun 14, 2014 6:03 pm
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Murphmario
- 2025 Egg Hunter

- Posts: 2389
- Joined: Fri Dec 20, 2013 7:07 pm
- Pronouns: he/him
Postby Murphmario » Sat Jun 14, 2014 6:06 pm
Ragont™ wrote:why
I don't get it.
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Mable
- Luigi

- Posts: 5806
- Joined: Sat Dec 21, 2013 4:23 am
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Contact:
Postby Mable » Sat Jun 14, 2014 6:14 pm
Wut.
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reghrhre
- Rocky Wrench

- Posts: 668
- Joined: Mon Dec 02, 2013 6:19 pm
Postby reghrhre » Sat Jun 14, 2014 6:29 pm
you're trying way too hard and you're failing at it like usual
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aero
- Palom

- Posts: 4787
- Joined: Fri Mar 28, 2014 2:51 pm
Postby aero » Sat Jun 14, 2014 7:57 pm
With such a stunning narrative, and impeccable dialogue I'm truly surprised at this reaction. 10/10 Did read again.
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Danny
- Wart

- Posts: 4001
- Joined: Fri Dec 20, 2013 1:12 pm
- Flair: aka LMNtals
- Pronouns: he/they
Postby Danny » Sat Jun 14, 2014 8:07 pm
what's?
how'd?
why'd?
can't.
won't.
shouldn't.
wouldn't.
couldn't.
and of course...
oh. no. you. didn't.
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Firespike33
- Tweeter

- Posts: 139
- Joined: Sat Dec 21, 2013 1:24 pm
Postby Firespike33 » Sat Jun 14, 2014 8:17 pm
Here's my review:
Drawing:
The drawing in this comic is simply amazing. You are clearly a master of perspective and detail, and everything is done amazingly well. The black-and-white coloring only adds to its artistic style, and the integration of real-life objects is seamless.
10/10
Characters:
These characters are original and their personalities wonderfully well-realized. You clearly put a lot of thought into their brilliant names and characterization, and it definitely is well-executed. Amazing.
10/10
Story:
The story is simple, yet easy to understand and told brilliantly. The dialogue is descriptive, yet compact, and moves the comic along at the perfect pace.
10/10
Humor:
The humor is the best part. From the absurdity of a SEGA Mario game to that of a character named "DICKS," this is clearly a work of mastery in terms of humor. The self-deprecating humor of "MY ARMS DON'T EXIST" is amazing, even though it makes fun of an art style that is efficient AND original.
10/10
Overall:
This is the best thing I have EVER READ.
10/10
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zlaker
- Reznor

- Posts: 2844
- Joined: Fri Dec 20, 2013 1:46 pm
Postby zlaker » Sat Jun 14, 2014 8:50 pm
Murphmario wrote:Ragont™ wrote:why
I don't get it.
You're kidding me right?
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Julia Pseudo
- Luigi

- Posts: 5609
- Joined: Wed Jan 08, 2014 12:04 am
- Flair: gay gaymer girl
- Pronouns: She/her
Postby Julia Pseudo » Sun Jun 15, 2014 1:12 am
The problem with your comics is that, as GhostHawk said, they try too hard to imitate TAOK's style of humor, overdo it, and fail. Unlike TAOK, the characters don't really have any individuality and there are no real stories or punchlines. That's why you get responses like this, I think.
Also I'm pretty sure that your comic is only supposed to have one topic.
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RudeGuy
- Bowser

- Posts: 4994
- Joined: Fri Dec 27, 2013 7:36 am
- Flair: local guy
Postby RudeGuy » Sun Jun 15, 2014 7:06 am
Wtf I read
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