Super Mario Bros. X Forums

OK here's my new character:
Hope i'm not too late!

Name: Toxic

Gender: Male

Age: 15

Species: Cobrat

Appearance: He has dark purple skin with dark green stripes and sharp, poisonous fangs. And he is also about the same height as peach.

Personality: He has a fierce and aggressive personality, because of his background. He has trouble getting close to people and doesn't trust that many. He is very brave and fearless, always ready to face challenges. His bravery sometimes drives him to be reckless and to not think of consequences for his actions. He doesn't know everything about the world and always wants to know more about it.He is also very opinionated and states his feelings bluntly, which often leads to conflict and arguments with others.

Background: Toxic lived in a village with his Mom, Dad, and younger sister. His parents often told him to go out into the plains and find them berries and maybe some coins, because his family was poor and could barely afford to keep their house in the village. One day, he went out to find food and possibly some coins for his family. He lost track of the time and stayed until sunset. While picking berries from a bush, he heard a deep explosion from the direction of his village, ringing across the land. He hurried back, startled and worried. When he got back, he was met with a shocking sight.
The buildings were in ruins, and there was no one in sight. He desperately searched the plains for his family but there was no sign of them. Eventually he comes across a red Shy Guy, who tells him that Bowser had dropped a bomb on Toxic's village and everyone expect for a few Goombas, Shy Guys, and Koopas, were killed, including Toxic's family. After finding this out, Toxic's personality began to change. He became aggressive and vengeful, closing himself from others and becoming more solitary and independent. He swore that one day, he would find Bowser and make him pay for what he did to his village.

Abilities:
Toxic can shoot bullets and poison darts from his mouth. He is able to obtain power-ups and shoot fireballs and other projectiles, similar to the Mario characters.

Speech:
He can speak English and Cobrat.

Tess: Looks great. I would prefer her not bring Fang along for this RP if that's alright, just so that it doesn't complicate anything.

Toxic: Your post has spelling/punctuation errors.

Name: Lee
Gender: Male
Age: Young adult
Species: Koopatrol
Appearance: He looks quite run-down with his armor being partly missing, only 2 more spikes being on his back and it showing quite some signs of faulty repairs. His skin also got a more gray-ish tone and also looks quite dirty.
Personality: He rarely trust others because of his past. If someone does however manage to gain his trust, he'll do everything for him. He also is extremely scared of fire and has issues in believing in himself because he never became a "real" Koopatrol. He doesn't normally care for which side someone is on, and generally doesn't care too much about others. While he doesn't always follow general rules of behavior, he can be quite polite if circumstances ask for it.
However, even though he doesn't like to admit it, he still has deep feelings for his family and wants to return to them. But his rational side insists that it'd be foolish, and that side always gets the upper hand.
Background: Lee used to live at an outpost of Bowser's army in Dimble Woods. As an adolescent Koopatrol reaches the right age (about 16 in human years), they get their Koopatrol armor and have to go to a Koopa Cave just outside the forest to undergo harsh training. But just the night after Lee's birthday where he got the armor, a huge fire broke out in the forest while he was out wandering to Koopa Cave. All of the resident's of Bowser's outpost fled out of the forest and Lee waited in the cave for the elder who was supposed to be training him to arrive. However, the elder never arrived and he never found out if it was because he fled with the others or because he died in the fire. Either way, he waited for nearly a day before he decided to return to the outpost. But as he returned to the outpost, it was all burned down and deserted. He couldn't believe that they just fled without him, there wasn't even a trace of his parents!
But then he realised that he never completed his Koopatrol training, and that was a dead sin for any member of Bowser's army. He realised he'd never be a real Kooatrol. And he'd never be accepted at home. His family would be better off believing he was dead.
The following years, Lee lived a lonely life. He wandered from town to town, helping out with small jobs. However, he couldn't really live off it, so he decided to try becoming a bounty hunter. It didn't matter to him who he was going after. Be it a member of the Koopa Troop or a Mushroom Kingdom resident, it was all the same to him. He's already lost everything he had anyway. And Lee actually managed to live decent with his new "job", and for not being a real Koopatrol, he was doing a fairly well. But of course his armor wouldn't go undamaged during his hunts. For a real Koopatrol this wouldn't be a problem since they could just get this fixed by one of the Rocky Wrenches at any of Bowser's outposts, but he didn't have any of that. He tried his best to fix it with all of his skills, but after a few years it looked more like a patchwork of multiple pieces of spare metal instead of real armor.

Name: Goomblake
Gender: Male
Age: College-aged
Species: Goomba
Appearance: Goomblake always carries his scarlet berryPhone around to look stuff up. He is of rather average appearance, but instead of being beige, his abdomen has a floral orange-and-white Hawaiian pattern on it. Instantly noticeable is the cool, stylish fedora atop his head.
Personality: Goomblake is inquisitive but also rather nosy. He likes to learn and know everything about a given creature or area, even when it is dangerous to do so. He is apt to linger around areas instead of pressing forward, even when it is detrimental to others' interests. He also can be rather foolish in real-world situations outside of school and the dorm. He's not exactly greedy, but he is eager to pay off his student loans.
Background: Goomblake was the first in his family to go to college, but he kept mismanaging his money, like giving his "friends" loans, so he quickly ran out of money for college (despite the fact that he can afford a cell phone and data plan). Nowadays, he works at his old university, the University of Goom, as a customer service representative. He commonly takes breaks to adventure for memories and money, but this has not put him in the university's good graces. He spends his afternoons reading fanfiction about weird characters like Joey Miller. His aspiration is to be paid to explore the Mushroom World, but unfortunately for him the college he left already covered all 4 corners of it. Goomblake simultaneously looks up to and is jealous of Mario for all the secret places in Dinosaur Land and the Mushroom Kingdom that he discovered.

Lee's not bad as a character but some of your post is worded kind of awkwardly. Make sure you're not writing as if you're talking (there are errors with your comma structure that seem to be a result of that).

FanofSMBX, you should stop trying to make your character relatable or funny ("berryPhone", "Joey Miller") and instead focus more on his background.

Joey wrote:Tess: Looks great. I would prefer her not bring Fang along for this RP if that's alright, just so that it doesn't complicate anything.

Thanks! And sure, I'll have Tess leave Fang at home for this RP.

Joey wrote:Lee's not bad as a character but some of your post is worded kind of awkwardly. Make sure you're not writing as if you're talking (there are errors with your comma structure that seem to be a result of that).

Fixed a lot of wording. I can definitely see where you were coming from.

My character is ready!

SuperMario12345 wrote:My character is ready!

You need to add a lot more info on Toxic's personality and you need to proofread his background info again.

My character got a lot of improvement and now is ready!

I still want to know more about his personality. Also, read through your background info again and make sure everything looks and sounds natural.

(also, I really don't want to have to go through this process if you do start participating in the RP. proper English is a must, and I don't want your posts to get deleted)

Joey wrote:I still want to know more about his personality. Also, read through your background info again and make sure everything looks and sounds natural.

(also, I really don't want to have to go through this process if you do start participating in the RP. proper English is a must, and I don't want your posts to get deleted)

How much information do want about his personality?

Now do I have enough information?

Name: Bill

Species: Shy Guy

Gender: Male

Age: 13

Appearance: A green Shy Guy with a translator around his neck, so he can speak many languages, including English. Without the translator, he'd just speak in the language of Shy Guys. His mask is slightly greying and the strap at the back of his head is red instead of brown. His translator consists of a grey, rectangular box and a red circle switch with a triangle poking out of the top. The technology used in the translator is unknown to anyone. Even Bill doesn't know who made it, or how.

Personality: Bill is timid and shy, but tends to get mad easily, sometimes exploding at others when provoked. Loves playing video games, eating, reading and drawing. Dislikes most forms of exercise. He always (and I mean ALWAYS) carries around his 3DS and a large variety of games (placed in a special box that shrinks to fit in his pocket). He is friends with a variety of other enemies including many Shy Guys and he spends almost all of his time gaming, so he frequently has to put up with headaches. The only sport he likes is swimming, his favourite food is chicken nuggets and his favourite fruit is bananas. Sometimes gets bullied because he dislikes sports and he plays Nintendo games instead of what everyone else is playing these days, and the bullies usually aim to provoke him so he can yell at them, leading to laughter from the bullies. He is quite clumsy, occasionally dropping things and tripping over. He dislikes the concept of life partners and prefers to not look for a girlfriend at this age.

Bill is highly intelligent and excels in many different subjects (except for Maths) and he is very good at solving puzzles. This all came from one adventure where he needed to solve a particularly difficult riddle to progress.

Background: Bill used to work at Bowser's Castle. He had no specific name, and as far as he was concerned, he was just Shy Guy #37. One day, he and his friend Jeff escaped the castle and ran to the woods. They went their separate ways, and long story short, Bill befriended the heroes and currently lives alone in the Mushroom Kingdom, where he likes to play his 3DS. He has been on many adventures taking him through sewers, deserts, mountains, etc. All of these adventures were never at his will, as he is almost always some sort of "chosen one" who needs to go on quests. When he came back from an adventure once, he found his name very confusing to say, and saying Shy Guy would confuse him with other Shy Guys, so he decided that he wanted everyone to call him Bill. That was a few years ago, and now Bill lives comfortably in the Mushroom Kingdom. He was given the translator by Princess Peach one day, which he considers a gift.

When Bill was very young, he had witnessed many advertisements about Nintendo games, leading him to have his extreme interest in video games. Also, around the age of 5, he played football but he frequently got injured and never really played the actual game, but rather, ran around the field, so he quit and he now has a dislike of sports. He loves swimming because he considers it to be a sport that is very hard to injure yourself doing. The reason why he yells at everyone when angered is because around the age of 7, when he was first employed to work for Bowser (this is normal in Shy Guy terms), he was frequently bossed around while manufacturing Bob-Ombs and Mechakoopas due to his young age. He had gotten fed up with this after five years, so at the age of 12, he and a blue Shy Guy named Jeff escaped (as mentioned before).

Before going to work for Bowser, Bill, his older sister Jen (who had already left to work for Bowser) and his parents lived in a small house in the mountains. Because he lived there, Bill isn't afraid of heights, but he is afraid of almost every insect and arachnid in existence, because one day in his childhood, he had woken up to a large spider on a wall of his house when he was around 4 years old.

Name: Damon
Gender: Male
Age: Highschool aged
Species: Hammer bro

Appearance: Damon has slick black hair that runs down to his eyes. Has both a black shell with white line patterns throughout it and a black and white helmet. Ontop of his helmet are multicolored feathers that droop down to his shell. Across Damon's neck is a necklace with a blue crystal in the middle. The beads of the necklace are multicolored and can change color depending on mood. Spikes protrude out through the shell in specific symmetrical points. Damon has two katanas with a black and red handle which stick out of his medium sized, light brown knapsack.
Unlike the usual hammer bro species, Damon has a dark reddish skin complexion. This skin type causes him to become resistant to lava and other hot surfaces. Damon has black boots polished so well to the point they smarkle in certain instances, especially in a bright and sunny day. Damon also has two mini hammers aswell as a large black hammer on both sides of his knapsack, attached to a hook.

Personality: Brash and brazen, Damon has a charming personality that never fails to astonish onlookers.
At best his cocky demeanor causes him to triumph against foes and at worst gets him into fights among his comrades.
Damon suffers from anger however and is quick to snap on occasion. Despite his apparent power and confidence, Damon is quick to shy away when challenged. This often hurts his reputation as a result.

Background: Damon was born in the outskirts of the Dark land. Being the first born child, Damon had to face a lot of challenges on his own. This caused him to develop the personalities he has now. Having been trained in the barracks of the Koopa troop, Damon is very well adapt to the battlefield. Showcasing an array of fighting, and military combat when pushed to fight. Damon spent the majority of his childhood within the barracks.

Damon had been training until he was 12, the last attack by Mario on the Turtle empire. As a result of this, the Koopa troop disbanded. Damon, grief stricken at the death of his people, caused him to develop anger issues. Damon wandered the Mushroom World looking for new opportunities and people to challenge. He found a place to call home in the forests of the Mushroom Kingdom. Specifically he found an Inn full of people just like him, people who fled the Dark land.

What about the update to my character?

ShyGuy37 needs more personality and background development (remove all of the parts where you say he's like you) and needs an actual name. Keeping the part about him not knowing his name is fine and could create some good avenues for character development, but he has to have a name that he calls himself or that others call him. You should explain the significance of the translator around his neck.

Damon needs more background development.

Spinda wrote:What about the update to my character?

He looks better, but I'd like to see you develop his personality more.

SuperMario12345 wrote:Now do I have enough information?

Better, but why does he create arguments?

Improved my post, check it out!

Characters can't be designed with their backgrounds being in the context of the current RP. Also, for the current RP, your character must be good.

Joey wrote:Characters can't be designed with their backgrounds being in the context of the current RP. Also, for the current RP, your character must be good.

Removed the parts of him having hatred for mushroom kingdom ect. Aswell as removed the invasion part.