Character Creation/Approval Thread

[Muyoko]

Yeah, looks good. Sorry for the inconvenience!

Thanks. Is she ready for the RP?

[PersonNamedUser]

SuperMario12345: Before I can analyze your character, you need to improve your English (namely syntax and punctuation). Make sure that's perfect.

OK the grammar is fixed and I improved all the things.

[Muyoko]

Never mind, first page was figured out.

[Shadow Yoshi]

Yeah, looks good. Sorry for the inconvenience!

Thanks. Is she ready for the RP?

Yeah, you can go ahead and enter her.

SuperMario12345: Before I can analyze your character, you need to improve your English (namely syntax and punctuation). Make sure that's perfect.

OK the grammar is fixed and I improved all the things.

Your character knowing SuperMario12345 isn't really appropriate for a serious setting like this. Take a look at the other characters to get a feel for what we're looking for.

[PersonNamedUser]

Never mind i just came up with a new character.

[Chip Potato]

i hope i'm not late for this, or anything

Edit 1: i added some more stuff to his personality and backstory per joey's request. tfw you haven't legitimately written in months

Name: Cayg Bohn (pronounced like "cage bone")

Gender: Male
Age: Dead

Species: Koopa Troopa/Dry Bones

Appearance: A Dry Bones with brown shoes, and yellow glowing eyes.

Personality: Cayg is typically pretty chill. He's not one to start a fight, despite that he can technically survive most attacks. He is pretty mischievous, however, and absolutely loves scaring the crap out of anyone who decides to explore the abandoned fortress he lives in. Despite his seemingly outgoing nature, he's nervous about making new friends that aren't fortress-dwellers like him. He's not one to shout very often, either. In fact, some of the only times he does is when he's scaring someone by jumping out and going "BOO!".

Most deadly situations don't terrify him as much as his living brethren. Not because he's a brave knight-in-shining-ribcage or anything, but because death doesn't mean much to him, now. He has also fallen out of touch with a lot of the customs of the living, so he might come off as rude or a bit too forward at times. In the end, past his hobby of scaring people and his social ineptitude, he really does mean well, and he's not a bad guy. More of a neutral party, than anything.

Backstory: Cayg doesn't remember much about his previous life. All he knows for sure is that he was a Koopa, and that he was a guard stationed at the fortress he currently lived in. Despite knowing little at the moment, he really wants to know who he was previously. Every-so-often, a fuzzy memory of who he used to be comes to him in a dream, and he tries to write down what he saw in a little dream journal. He's not too sure what he would do when he finally figures out who he was, but he's not too worried about it.

As for his current life as a turtle skeleton, that started when he was accidentally resurrected by a young Magikoopa playing with his mentor's wand. That was the first time he had scared someone, and the unique, near-embarrassingly squeaky scream the novice magician koopa uttered was what gave him a passion for scaring, in a way. Cayg hasn't explored the entirety of his home, yet, because every entrance he hasn't already tried was either locked or blocked off by a section of the ceiling that fell over the door, so his entire afterlife so far has pretty much taken place in the same three rooms.

Even though he has only been "alive" for a few weeks, Cayg is convinced he has his own philosophy for living. "Live your (after)life like every day is your last, because if you're like me, it never actually will be."

[Muyoko]

Spooky. So how will he play in the story?

[FanofSMBX]

Name: Goomblake
Gender: Male
Age: College-aged
Species: Goomba
Appearance: Goomblake always carries his scarlet berryPhone around to look stuff up. He is of rather average appearance, but instead of being beige, his abdomen has a floral orange-and-white Hawaiian pattern on it. He has moppy brown hair, but you wouldn't be able to tell because of the cool, stylish fedora he wears.
Personality: Goomblake is inquisitive but also rather nosy. He likes to learn and know everything about a given creature or area, even when it is dangerous to do so. He also can be rather foolish in real-world situations outside of school and the dorm. He's not exactly greedy, but he is eager to pay off his student loans.
Background: Goomblake was the first in his family to go to college, but he kept mismanaging his money, like giving his "friends" loans, so he quickly ran out of money for college (despite the fact that he can afford a cell phone and data plan). Nowadays, he works at his old university, the University of Goom, as a customer service representative. He commonly takes breaks to adventure for memories and money, but this has not put him in the university's good graces. He spends his afternoons reading fanfiction about weird characters like Joey Miller. His aspiration is to be paid to explore the Mushroom World, but unfortunately for him the college he left already covered all 4 corners of it.

[Shadow Yoshi]

Cayg needs some more personality/background development and Goomblake should be developed more as well.

[Alicia Jewel]

Ooh, I hope I'm not too late for this! I've been dying to be in a Mario RP for a while.

Name:
Tessalyn Toad

Nicknames:
Tess T., Tess

Gender:
Female

Age:
17

Species:
Toad

Appearance:
Tess’s mushroom cap is red with white spots, and her orange hair is tied into two braids that hang from each side of her head. When she’s not wearing her karate gi with her purple belt, she’s usually seen in a white shirt, blue vest, red pants, and brown shoes.

Personality:
If Tess could be described in one word, it would be, well, testy. She has a temper to be reckoned with and will gladly give a good tongue-lashing to anyone who makes her angry. Woe to anyone who harms her or another person—she has no qualms about using her martial arts skills against them. Oddly enough, despite her apparent love of fighting, she never attacks except to defend herself or others.

In fights, Tess is observant of her opponent’s every move and her surroundings, allowing her to exploit any weaknesses her opponent may have and allowing her to avoid being caught off guard. However, she has a habit of getting ahead of herself and making reckless moves when she thinks she has the upper hand. Her temper also makes her vulnerable to taunts and the like.

Tess is determined to a fault. Once she sets her mind to something, she is willing to dedicate as much time and effort as it takes to make that something happen. She refuses to give up even if things are going bad, and if you were to tell her something was impossible, she would try to find any was possible to prove you wrong, even if that meant slamming into a metaphorical wall over and over again to no avail.

For the most part, Tess keeps her distance from others and rarely opens up to anyone because of her bullied past. Anyone who tries to get close to her is met with a cold shoulder or a verbal lashing. However, she does have a few close friends, showing that it’s not impossible to make friends with her if you can get past her rough exterior, and she has no problem allying with anyone she shares a common goal with.

Background:
Tess, like most Toads, was born in Toad Town. As a child, she was very timid and was often bullied as a result. She was too afraid to do anything about it for a long time, but when she was 12, she saw a Chain Chomp pup being abused by some bullies. She wasn't quite sure what came over her when she stepped in to protect the innocent pup, but she knew she couldn't let those horrible bullies keep hurting him. She might have faced the same fate if it hadn't been for the timely appearance of one of the guards, whose very appearance made the bullies run away. Tess took in the Chain Chomp, whom she named Fang. Determined to defend herself and others from bullies like she and Fang had faced, she started taking classes at the Toad Town Dojo.

Today, Tess has a purple belt, and she's more than happy to "test" her skills on anyone she feels deserves a good beating... especially her former bullies. She's earned a bit of a reputation around Toad Town for being rather violent and quick to anger, but she never attacks unprovoked, so she hasn't gotten into too much trouble just yet. On the flip side, she's also known as someone who can be counted on to come to the rescue whenever something happens. Bullies giving you trouble? Tess will take care of it, no problem. Bowser's minions causing trouble around town? Heh, those are even more fun to beat up.

* * *

Tess's original concept has the Chain Chomp she rescued aid her in battle, but I'm not sure if that would be allowed since it might count as two characters. If it's okay, I'd love to add him, but if not, I can do without.

[PersonNamedUser]

OK here's my new character:
Hope i'm not too late!

Name: Toxic

Gender: Male

Age: 15

Species: Cobrat

Appearance: He has dark purple skin with dark green stripes and sharp, poisonous fangs. And he is also about the same height as peach.

Personality: He has a fierce and aggressive personality, because of his background. He has trouble getting close to people and doesn't trust that many. He is very brave and fearless, always ready to face challenges. His bravery sometimes drives him to be reckless and to not think of consequences for his actions. He doesn't know everything about the world and always wants to know more about it.He is also very opinionated and states his feelings bluntly, which often leads to conflict and arguments with others.

Background: Toxic lived in a village with his Mom, Dad, and younger sister. His parents often told him to go out into the plains and find them berries and maybe some coins, because his family was poor and could barely afford to keep their house in the village. One day, he went out to find food and possibly some coins for his family. He lost track of the time and stayed until sunset. While picking berries from a bush, he heard a deep explosion from the direction of his village, ringing across the land. He hurried back, startled and worried. When he got back, he was met with a shocking sight.
The buildings were in ruins, and there was no one in sight. He desperately searched the plains for his family but there was no sign of them. Eventually he comes across a red Shy Guy, who tells him that Bowser had dropped a bomb on Toxic's village and everyone expect for a few Goombas, Shy Guys, and Koopas, were killed, including Toxic's family. After finding this out, Toxic's personality began to change. He became aggressive and vengeful, closing himself from others and becoming more solitary and independent. He swore that one day, he would find Bowser and make him pay for what he did to his village.

Abilities:
Toxic can shoot bullets and poison darts from his mouth. He is able to obtain power-ups and shoot fireballs and other projectiles, similar to the Mario characters.

Speech:
He can speak English and Cobrat.

[Shadow Yoshi]

Tess: Looks great. I would prefer her not bring Fang along for this RP if that's alright, just so that it doesn't complicate anything.

Toxic: Your post has spelling/punctuation errors.

[underFlo]

Name: Lee
Gender: Male
Age: Young adult
Species: Koopatrol
Appearance: He looks quite run-down with his armor being partly missing, only 2 more spikes being on his back and it showing quite some signs of faulty repairs. His skin also got a more gray-ish tone and also looks quite dirty.
Personality: He rarely trust others because of his past. If someone does however manage to gain his trust, he'll do everything for him. He also is extremely scared of fire and has issues in believing in himself because he never became a "real" Koopatrol. He doesn't normally care for which side someone is on, and generally doesn't care too much about others. While he doesn't always follow general rules of behavior, he can be quite polite if circumstances ask for it.
However, even though he doesn't like to admit it, he still has deep feelings for his family and wants to return to them. But his rational side insists that it'd be foolish, and that side always gets the upper hand.
Background: Lee used to live at an outpost of Bowser's army in Dimble Woods. As an adolescent Koopatrol reaches the right age (about 16 in human years), they get their Koopatrol armor and have to go to a Koopa Cave just outside the forest to undergo harsh training. But just the night after Lee's birthday where he got the armor, a huge fire broke out in the forest while he was out wandering to Koopa Cave. All of the resident's of Bowser's outpost fled out of the forest and Lee waited in the cave for the elder who was supposed to be training him to arrive. However, the elder never arrived and he never found out if it was because he fled with the others or because he died in the fire. Either way, he waited for nearly a day before he decided to return to the outpost. But as he returned to the outpost, it was all burned down and deserted. He couldn't believe that they just fled without him, there wasn't even a trace of his parents!
But then he realised that he never completed his Koopatrol training, and that was a dead sin for any member of Bowser's army. He realised he'd never be a real Kooatrol. And he'd never be accepted at home. His family would be better off believing he was dead.
The following years, Lee lived a lonely life. He wandered from town to town, helping out with small jobs. However, he couldn't really live off it, so he decided to try becoming a bounty hunter. It didn't matter to him who he was going after. Be it a member of the Koopa Troop or a Mushroom Kingdom resident, it was all the same to him. He's already lost everything he had anyway. And Lee actually managed to live decent with his new "job", and for not being a real Koopatrol, he was doing a fairly well. But of course his armor wouldn't go undamaged during his hunts. For a real Koopatrol this wouldn't be a problem since they could just get this fixed by one of the Rocky Wrenches at any of Bowser's outposts, but he didn't have any of that. He tried his best to fix it with all of his skills, but after a few years it looked more like a patchwork of multiple pieces of spare metal instead of real armor.

[FanofSMBX]

Name: Goomblake
Gender: Male
Age: College-aged
Species: Goomba
Appearance: Goomblake always carries his scarlet berryPhone around to look stuff up. He is of rather average appearance, but instead of being beige, his abdomen has a floral orange-and-white Hawaiian pattern on it. Instantly noticeable is the cool, stylish fedora atop his head.
Personality: Goomblake is inquisitive but also rather nosy. He likes to learn and know everything about a given creature or area, even when it is dangerous to do so. He is apt to linger around areas instead of pressing forward, even when it is detrimental to others' interests. He also can be rather foolish in real-world situations outside of school and the dorm. He's not exactly greedy, but he is eager to pay off his student loans.
Background: Goomblake was the first in his family to go to college, but he kept mismanaging his money, like giving his "friends" loans, so he quickly ran out of money for college (despite the fact that he can afford a cell phone and data plan). Nowadays, he works at his old university, the University of Goom, as a customer service representative. He commonly takes breaks to adventure for memories and money, but this has not put him in the university's good graces. He spends his afternoons reading fanfiction about weird characters like Joey Miller. His aspiration is to be paid to explore the Mushroom World, but unfortunately for him the college he left already covered all 4 corners of it. Goomblake simultaneously looks up to and is jealous of Mario for all the secret places in Dinosaur Land and the Mushroom Kingdom that he discovered.

[Shadow Yoshi]

Lee's not bad as a character but some of your post is worded kind of awkwardly. Make sure you're not writing as if you're talking (there are errors with your comma structure that seem to be a result of that).

FanofSMBX, you should stop trying to make your character relatable or funny ("berryPhone", "Joey Miller") and instead focus more on his background.

[Alicia Jewel]

Tess: Looks great. I would prefer her not bring Fang along for this RP if that's alright, just so that it doesn't complicate anything.

Thanks! And sure, I'll have Tess leave Fang at home for this RP.

[underFlo]

Lee's not bad as a character but some of your post is worded kind of awkwardly. Make sure you're not writing as if you're talking (there are errors with your comma structure that seem to be a result of that).

Fixed a lot of wording. I can definitely see where you were coming from.

[PersonNamedUser]

My character is ready!

[Shadow Yoshi]

My character is ready!

You need to add a lot more info on Toxic's personality and you need to proofread his background info again.

[PersonNamedUser]

My character got a lot of improvement and now is ready!