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DMPYLAIY 2: Sending your Ideals into the Kiln

https://www.smbxgame.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=6441

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DMPYLAIY 2: Sending your Ideals into the Kiln

Posted: Wed Oct 29, 2014 1:38 am
by DarkMatt

VVV*READ THIS BEFORE YOU SET ONE FOOT INTO THIS THREAD.*VVV

-The following thread and all posts by me is half minute criticism written down with no care, sympathy, nor consideration for your feelings, skills, nor sensibilities. What you are getting is a first impression and no in-depth analysis of your strengths and weaknesses save for a couple seconds of thinking about it. You are not meant to take this seriously and any snarkiness or flat out insults are not meant to deter you from improving your skills at designing levels.

-Furthermore, all posting in this thread are under no obligation to treat you or your submission with respect. While we will punish harassment, we won't care if someone says your level sucks, you're a bad designer, you're stupid, etc. etc.

tl;dr TAKE EVERYTHING YOU'RE ABOUT TO READ WITH A GRAIN OF SALT YOU BIG BABY.

^^^*IF YOU DON'T READ THIS AND YOU WHINE ABOUT THIS THREAD I WILL FIND YOU*^^^

Spoiler: show
[center]LET'S, GOO GOO GOOOOO!~
Image
FEAR WHAT YOU'VE LEARNED TO LOVE.[/center][/b]

Heeeey. What are you trying to do?
Image-I'm gonna review your contest levels. All of them. I'm not gonna be like our contest judges. I am here to put your level through the wringer. YOU ARE TERRIBLE AT MAKING MARIO LEVELS AND I WILL BE HERE TO EXPLAIN WHY YOU'RE AWFUL. ALL OF YOU.

But that's being mean and I don't like people saying mean things about me.
Image-Have you noticed the prizes for this contest? I'm the one giving them out. That means I get to do this, so SUCK IT UP. (Not to mention you have probably done this to other people at some point in your life. Those who take the sword shall perish by the sword.)

Hi. I don't cry when people say I'm shit. What's goin' on here?
Image-I'll be going through every contest level grading it on 3 categories:
Gameplay
Aesthetics
Wildcard

Image-The first two are self-explanatory, if you don't know what they mean then maybe you should finish grade school. Wildcard is whatever I think is the most relevant point of your level in a design aspect. This can either be something good or bad and, because I am a spiteful asshole, I'll prioritize bad over good. Deal with it.

Image-Each category will get any whole number between a 5 and a 0.
If you got a 5, you have legit impressed me. Do note this is very hard to do.
If you got a 4, I generally agreed that the level is good and worth playing.
If you got a 3, your level is pretty mundane and incapable of piquing my interest.
If you got a 2, there are glaring problems in your level. Otherwise, it's functional.
If you got a 1, it's trash. However, there is something good in the level no matter how miniscular.
If you got a 0, could you please never touch the editor ever again?

Image-The categories are averaged out and that is your score. So you can get 0.66 and treat it like a near 1 or get 4.33 and feel like it was almost perfection.

Image-I'll be going through your levels in the order of how they placed from worst to best in the contest. I may try playing it as Small Mario and refrain from using cheats. I might just decide to cheat through your level. I'm under no obligation to give your level a fair or even fighting chance. Maybe if most of you weren't so bad, I wouldn't cheat so often.

wow u got da lvls i want them plz i will lp them 2
Image-NO.

Image-The only reason why I have them early is because I can't do this thread otherwise. THAT DOES NOT MEAN YOU GET TO HAVE THEM, SO DO NOT ASK.

what about that random guy i think hes a butt and i wanna watch him say things
Image-Chances are yes, I will at least get some co-pilots to throw their 2 cents as well. Also, we are very likely to do streams so that I can share the levels with my friends live. You are free to attend, but we schedule these streams on the fly, and I'm under no obligation to include you guys.
And with that, you now know the basis of what's going to happen here. Good job, you have basic comprehension. You can impress your friends with qualities like that.

NOW LET'S PARTY LIKE IT'S 2007!!

Image[/center]
MEET THE CAST:
Spoiler: show
ImageDarkMatt
-Spends his days feeding on the wishes of the innocent and funding public works. Is an activist and a vizier. (not evil) Loves promoting marios and then killing them, harnessing their grief. Has also ventured into Eternity and recommends it to those that are down in the dumps, as it were. Evolves when given enough computer data. Secretly lives in Yggdrasil. (Stay off his lawn.)
ImageKyo
-The hero the SMBX community deserves, not the one it needs. Gets his salad with extra everything. Should be moderator instead of me. Not actually living. Scours the community for glowing orbs of happiness to perform a miracle. Is at odds with the Phantom of Eternity. Jirachi will wake up by the time he's done with his project. (Least he can just wish for said miracle when that happens.)
ImageMercenaryCobra
-A LARPer slash fellow delver who has been banished to live the rest of his days inside a Commodore 64. Has won the punny pal contest 18 times in a row, to the behest of his competition. Found out that the Fire King is neither fun, fair, nor a good sequel. May or may not be any sort of reptile, tip eht fo mottob eht ni eb ton yam ro yam dna. When he teams up with DarkMatt, they can use the ultimate Master Spark.
ImageThatRandomGuy
-The raddest Prinny. Once defended a dwarven child for murdering a preschool of lesser mortals and won. Bitches can't handle his style, or his habit of propping his peglegs on the desk and tilting his chair. Refers to DarkMatt as Agumon. Has never touched SMBX, but he makes RPGs in RPGmaker. Does that count? Owns a magical spinning top that summons a dragon with enough force. Do not throw in a crowded area.
ImageLeo
-Some sort of child who got caught eating up all the food at one of DarkMatt's parties, and has been forced to work ever since. Claims to be a sprite and hundreds of years old, but who fucking cares? Introduces the tiers and tries to sucker unsuspecting dopes into throwing their cash and food at him. Helps keep the lepers out of the house. (with magic of mass destruction) Is connected to the Mana Tree, so please don't blow it up.

Image

Image.Image.Image.Image.Image.Image

[center]For those of you who want more bashing fun, have a fast link to the first DMPYLAIY.[/center]

Re: DMPYLiIY 2: Sending your Ideals into the Kiln

Posted: Wed Oct 29, 2014 1:39 am
by DarkMatt

Image

Image-Leo sez: Come one, come all, to the greatest show on Earth! This thread has everything from the greatness of art, to its fat ass shadow, and let's not forget the copious amounts of whining to be witnessed! Yes, sir, you'll come here to join the chorus of stupid humans yelling at other stupid humans for their hilarious attempts at art! What's that you say? There's only 5 levels here, and they're all absolutely terrible? The "DMPYLAIY2" experience is available as a commercial 3 CD package, exclusive to this thread and in limited stock! For 12 easy payments of $9.99, you'll enjoy a stupid human and his entourage of freaks of nature complain about children trying to entertain other children and failing spetacularly! It's a comedy of errors and immaturity, and you're getting it at a steal! You'll tell all your friends about "DMPYLAIY2" and they too will wonder what the hell they just read and how so many people can be so stupid! It's not like playing this stupid ass game is any more fun, so order today!
#75:
Spoiler: show

Image

Memo
The bastard who made this: Arale

Gameplay: 0/5
Aesthetics: stolenfromLCDDem/5
and OFF music Bonus: 0/5

FINAL SCORE: NaN

DarkMatt sez: I wish I could punch through the level, into the mod control panel, and ban the author of this level. I really wish I could.
#74:
Spoiler: show

Image

The Easiest Boss Fight Ever
The bastard who made this: 8flight

Gameplay: 0/5
Aesthetics: 0/5
GET IT IT'S IMPOSSIBLE Bonus: 0/5

FINAL SCORE: 0

DarkMatt sez: If this is the best joke you can come up with, I feel sorry for the closer people who have to put up with your inane babble.
#73:
Spoiler: show

Image

A Pyramid Switch Puzzle with an Uncreative Name
The bastard who made this: Kep

Gameplay: 0/5
Aesthetics: 1/5
Screenshot Bonus: 0/5

FINAL SCORE: 0.33

DarkMatt sez: This is dishonorable and you bring shame upon your family. Could've just made this a screenie. Could've just not participated at all.
#72:
Spoiler: show

Image

Philosophical Introspection
The bastard who made this: DoctorShemp

Gameplay: 0/5
Aesthetics: woof/5
zzz: imgonnagoontothenextlevelnow/5

FINAL SCORE: NaN

DarkMatt sez: Mongrel.
#71:
Spoiler: show

Image

Epic Dank Level 420
The bastard who made this: internet foster child and smbx legend knuckles96

Gameplay: 0/5
Aesthetics: 0/5
Shouts out to himself Bonus: bannedfromlife/5

FINAL SCORE: NaN

DarkMatt sez: Weren't we not up to your standards as a community? What the fuck are you doing here?

Re: DMPYLAIY 2: Sending your Ideals into the Kiln

Posted: Wed Oct 29, 2014 2:26 am
by Danny
Here come subtle insults: Volume II.

Re: DMPYLAIY 2: Sending your Ideals into the Kiln

Posted: Wed Oct 29, 2014 2:44 am
by Danny
Are the images of #75 and #72 actual images of the level or what is going on with them. Especially #72.

Re: DMPYLAIY 2: Sending your Ideals into the Kiln

Posted: Wed Oct 29, 2014 5:53 am
by AirSeus
I just laugh at the comments, DarkMatt, you are fucking amazing when doing this.

Re: DMPYLAIY 2: Sending your Ideals into the Kiln

Posted: Wed Oct 29, 2014 7:15 am
by Chip Potato
I'm loving this so far. Can't wait for the other tiers to be insulted. But most of all, I can't wait for DarkMatt to yell at me for my level. That was the best part of last contest for me.

Re: DMPYLAIY 2: Sending your Ideals into the Kiln

Posted: Wed Oct 29, 2014 7:21 am
by glitch4
8bitmushroom wrote:Are the images of #75 and #72 actual images of the level or what is going on with them. Especially #72.
I'd say 75th adn 72th is random images instead of actual level. There's no status bar.

Re: DMPYLAIY 2: Sending your Ideals into the Kiln

Posted: Wed Oct 29, 2014 8:15 am
by Magna
This is so great. Make sure to do Tier 2 and maybe 3 today.

Re: DMPYLAIY 2: Sending your Ideals into the Kiln

Posted: Wed Oct 29, 2014 9:36 am
by RudeGuy
I hoped this would arrive in CC9 too.

Re: DMPYLAIY 2: Sending your Ideals into the Kiln

Posted: Wed Oct 29, 2014 10:39 am
by DarkMatt
Magna wrote:This is so great. Make sure to do Tier 2 and maybe 3 today.
Don't tell me what to do.

Re: DMPYLAIY 2: Sending your Ideals into the Kiln

Posted: Wed Oct 29, 2014 10:44 am
by AirSeus
Magna wrote:This is so great. Make sure to do Tier 2 and maybe 3 today.
He cannot do tier 3, its not out yet (well in about 16 mins it should be).

Re: DMPYLAIY 2: Sending your Ideals into the Kiln

Posted: Wed Oct 29, 2014 11:40 am
by Danny
Guys, I thought it was obvious DarkMatt hated everybody in this community, how do you guys like him insulting you while it's masked through levels.

DMPYLAIY 3: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aTQFpwZwk-w

Re: DMPYLAIY 2: Sending your Ideals into the Kiln

Posted: Wed Oct 29, 2014 6:51 pm
by Arale
chie didnt even die in lcd dem what are you going on about her grave

Re: DMPYLAIY 2: Sending your Ideals into the Kiln

Posted: Wed Oct 29, 2014 9:35 pm
by DarkMatt
http://yumenikkifg.wikia.com/wiki/Lcd_Dem

Also I knew that was your avatar.

Re: DMPYLAIY 2: Sending your Ideals into the Kiln

Posted: Thu Oct 30, 2014 5:04 pm
by Superiorstar
Oh look, Darkmatt is insulting again, Cool so far, but the insults aren't as insulting as last time's.

Edit: fixed.

Re: DMPYLAIY 2: Sending your Ideals into the Kiln

Posted: Thu Oct 30, 2014 5:11 pm
by zioy
Superiorstar wrote:the insults aren't as insulting as last year's
First off, I find the new ones hilarious, if not less insulting.
Second, I'd have to agree.

Third....
Superiorstar wrote:last year's
...read that again...
Superiorstar wrote:last year's
...and again...
Superiorstar wrote:last year's
...and again.
Superiorstar wrote:last year's
LOL

Re: DMPYLAIY 2: Sending your Ideals into the Kiln

Posted: Thu Oct 30, 2014 5:40 pm
by DarkMatt
>last year's

That is grammatically correct.

Unusual, but it doesn't break any English rules.

Re: DMPYLAIY 2: Sending your Ideals into the Kiln

Posted: Thu Oct 30, 2014 5:41 pm
by zioy
DarkMatt wrote:>last year's

That is grammatically correct.

Unusual, but it doesn't break any English rules.
What's funny about it is that CC8 happened this year.

Re: DMPYLAIY 2: Sending your Ideals into the Kiln

Posted: Thu Oct 30, 2014 5:44 pm
by Valentine
Will there be tier 2? i mean tier 4 is out and tier 2 is not done yet. (not trying to hurry youup or anything, just asking a question)

Re: DMPYLAIY 2: Sending your Ideals into the Kiln

Posted: Thu Oct 30, 2014 6:14 pm
by DarkMatt
Well I don't keep track of when's when. It felt like a year anyway.
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