Kep's Raps and General Songs

Share anything artistic that you've made, like short stories, drawings, and music.

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silent_
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Kep's Raps and General Songs

Postby silent_ » Sun Jan 05, 2014 5:27 pm

Beginning in early, mid, and late 2013, I've been inspired by some of the rapping celebrities and later decided to perhaps create my own raps. I never plan to publish them, but I think it's cool to share them with a slanted community who each individual may have alternative opinions.
Something as simple as, "Nice raps, Kep!" or, "Your raps suck, Kep," would make me glad... As long as you apply some constructive criticism. I'm similar to Joey. I dislike useless posting, something as simple as "good work!" or "hi!". I prefer something expanded. So don't make me have to get onto you for useless posting. I could tell Joey, lol. Nah.
Anyway, I'll start with implementing my raps developed here. They include the date made, and how old I suggest the audience should be to see it. --Oh, that's something I never mentioned. A majority of these songs have a lot of terrible language, and under construction, I'm currently creating one that has some violence. There will be a censored version featured, with an additional optional explicit version. You're welcome to see either one, as each will get placed in spoilers.
Finally, I hope you admire some of these scratch-made raps I created. I, for one, loved authoring them, so I assume that's a good thing?

This was my first rap I ever fabricated. I understand it could use desperate improvement, I plan to remake it some day in the future - conceivably months. It is named "Dead". Rated 18+ for strong language, and minor violence. It got fully made and firstly shown on May 17th, 2013.

EXPLICIT VERSION:
Spoiler: show
(VERSE 1) Yeah – yeah – I was just sittin’ down first thing I saw was a lady in a gown – it was brown – she was hideous and definitely not astound – but the inspection suggests her personality was a witch, but I like to call her a rubbish bitch; her face stared at me, think I’m handsome? Find someone else, you fucking women who looks like a hansom! Seriously, this is scarin’ me, makin’ me wanna flee, but what’s my option? Can she chase my knee? I’m extraordinarily frightened, close to being tightened, but what the hell can I do? C’mon cops, I’m calling you!! But she’ll prevent me, perhaps to where I’ll suddenly flee, but nothing else can be done, despite her callin’ me her hon!! AHH!!! The sheep then goes baa, I begin cursin’ start with faa ("faa" is the beginning of "fuck"), and then her hug attracts me, her drug repels me, I don’t know what the fuck to do other than flee! But then again, there’s other options, like me putting myself up for adoption, but will she auction?

PRE-CHORUS: C’mo-o-n! I’m scared to death! I’m gonna get outta breath! Before I die! Will you try! TO HELP ME!!!

CHORUS: Oh! Yeah! I’m gonna get dead in my bed! The people will cry while I slowly fry! THE MEMBERS of here, will get full of fear, yeah, please assist!! (REPEAT)

(VERSE 2) She hates me, her fate’s near, I’m glad while I wanna make a big sneer, right over here, kill her now! I will not listen to her vow! I think her face is getting some crowd, I won’t be scared, I will get away, but I think that face is fucking gray! Get her away! I’m sick of the day! It’s really disgustin’ me, these old ladies, what’s wrong with ‘em, I don’t like their gruesome personality! It’s utter brutality, her taste is red, makin’ me avoid the shed, she lives there, when she’s not feelin’ unfair, makin’ myself feel her ugly hair!! FUCK!!! But right here, right now, I am going to obey allow, perhaps she’ll gain trust in me!! I’ll now go by the sea, stare at a palm tree, daydream about coffee!! But why? Is something wrong? Is it that an ugly song! Is near, perhaps fear, get it AWAY!!! I DON’T LIKE IT!! IT’S MESSING WITH ME!!! I WILL NOT LET SHIT GET IN MY AWESOME DEED!!!! I ALMOST HATE MYSELF! EVEN MY GODDAMN HEALTH!! BUT WHAT CAN I SAY?!? THIS IS MY DECAY!! OHH!!!

PRE-CHORUS: C’mo-o-on! I’m scared to death! I’m gonna get outta breath! Before I die! Will you try! TO HELP ME!!!

CHORUS: Oh! Yeah! I’m gonna get dead in my bed! The people will cry while I slowly fry! THE MEMBERS of here, will get full of fear, yeah, please assist!! (REPEAT)

(VERSE 3) My father said – don’t you worry – I didn’t believe him for a second – in the mean time, I was in a rushing scurry – almost where my mind was blurry – couldn’t think of anything – I had to spring my legs – that damn lady was there – in the atmosphere – my memory created a sphere – oh my God – she captured me – I’m dead – like a hideous flea – YEAH!!! YEAH!!

PRE-CHORUS: C’mo-o-on! I’m scared to death! I’m gonna get outta breath! Before I die! Will you try! TO HELP ME!!!

CHORUS: (say this in a slow voice for the first time, repeat it really loud): Oh... yeah... I’m gonna get dead – directly in my fucking bed!! My head is red, while the people cry, I will then slowly fry!!! THE MEMBERS OF HERE, WILL GET FULL OF FEAR! YEAH!!! PLEASE ASSIST! (REPEAT)
CENSORED VERSION:
Spoiler: show
(VERSE 1) Yeah – yeah – I was just sittin’ down first thing I saw was a lady in a gown – it was brown – she was hideous and definitely not astound – but the inspection suggests her personality was a witch, but I like to call her a rubbish *****; her face stared at me, think I’m handsome? Find someone else, you ****ing women who looks like a hansom! Seriously, this is scarin’ me, makin’ me wanna flee, but what’s my option? Can she chase my knee? I’m extraordinarily frightened, close to being tightened, but what the **** can I do? C’mon cops, I’m calling you!! But she’ll prevent me, perhaps to where I’ll suddenly flee, but nothing else can be done, despite her callin’ me her hon!! AHH!!! The sheep then goes baa, I begin cursin’ start with faa ("faa" is the beginning of the F word), and then her hug attracts me, her drug repels me, I don’t know what the **** to do other than flee! But then again, there’s other options, like me putting myself up for adoption, but will she auction?

PRE-CHORUS: C’mo-o-n! I’m scared to death! I’m gonna get outta breath! Before I die! Will you try! TO HELP ME!!!

CHORUS: Oh! Yeah! I’m gonna get dead in my bed! The people will cry while I slowly fry! THE MEMBERS of here, will get full of fear, yeah, please assist!! (REPEAT)

(VERSE 2) She hates me, her fate’s near, I’m glad while I wanna make a big sneer, right over here, kill her now! I will not listen to her vow! I think her face is getting some crowd, I won’t be scared, I will get away, but I think that face is ****ing gray! Get her away! I’m sick of the day! It’s really disgustin’ me, these old ladies, what’s wrong with ‘em, I don’t like their gruesome personality! It’s utter brutality, her taste is red, makin’ me avoid the shed, she lives there, when she’s not feelin’ unfair, makin’ myself feel her ugly hair!! ****!!! But right here, right now, I am going to obey allow, perhaps she’ll gain trust in me!! I’ll now go by the sea, stare at a palm tree, daydream about coffee!! But why? Is something wrong? Is it that an ugly song! Is near, perhaps fear, get it AWAY!!! I DON’T LIKE IT!! IT’S MESSING WITH ME!!! I WILL NOT LET **** GET IN MY AWESOME DEED!!!! I ALMOST HATE MYSELF! EVEN MY ******* HEALTH!! BUT WHAT CAN I SAY?!? THIS IS MY DECAY!! OHH!!!

PRE-CHORUS: C’mo-o-on! I’m scared to death! I’m gonna get outta breath! Before I die! Will you try! TO HELP ME!!!

CHORUS: Oh! Yeah! I’m gonna get dead in my bed! The people will cry while I slowly fry! THE MEMBERS of here, will get full of fear, yeah, please assist!! (REPEAT)

(VERSE 3) My father said – don’t you worry – I didn’t believe him for a second – in the mean time, I was in a rushing scurry – almost where my mind was blurry – couldn’t think of anything – I had to spring my legs – that **** lady was there – in the atmosphere – my memory created a sphere – oh my God – she captured me – I’m dead – like a hideous flea – YEAH!!! YEAH!!

PRE-CHORUS: C’mo-o-on! I’m scared to death! I’m gonna get outta breath! Before I die! Will you try! TO HELP ME!!!

CHORUS: (say this in a slow voice for the first time, repeat it really loud): Oh... yeah... I’m gonna get dead – directly in my ****ing bed!! My head is red, while the people cry, I will then slowly fry!!! THE MEMBERS OF HERE, WILL GET FULL OF FEAR! YEAH!!! PLEASE ASSIST! (REPEAT)

Another song, and it's called "Broken Promises". Again, it was made quite lazily, and desperately needs modified. It's just generally another rap, nothing too special. Rated 18+ for strong language. Made in August 2nd, 2013.

EXPLICIT VERSION:
Spoiler: show
(VERSE 1) Yeah, I could feel the heart beat runnin’ up and catchin’ up with me, the sound effects are dramatized and makin’ me wanna get up and flee, but what else can you expect? A better simplistic affect? I’m quite disappointed, run-up confounded about your cruel humor running up my malted milk, makin’ it sweat, in horrible debt, and you wanna bet? Well then buzz off, bitch! Greedy little motherfucker want everything they can, too bad, seriously, I am disgusted by that flea, OMG, my knee, it’s suckin’ the blood, killin’ my bud, sittin’ by me pickin’ at his nose, like a filthy hoe, but really, keep your promises, I’m extremely furious, I mean I’m fucking serious, delirious, even curious, why do you fib, put down the nib, little shithead (still censoring) suckin’ through the mid, trying to ignore, ya whore, stop it or face the gore, for fuck's sake, I’m not Drake, keep ya comments awake, for the love of the lord, I’m bored, getting’ my sword, cuttin’ my face, not in a particular pace, I’m mad, I’m also sad and what the hell, keep it away, rubbish asshat all day, holy moly, I feel rolly, I mean, please just help me.

(CHORUS) I could feel the heart beat slowly drifting across the lane, the sound effects, the radiance of hearing about Maine, I was sad, feeling mad, definitely not glad, please up your professionalness, I’m tired, I’m gonna get fired about this oh man, please be my friend, oh man, those broken promises are lame (OH, OH) and they’re gonna get up my whole fame, (OH, OH) I’m pissed right now, seriously abound, and I will not put up with this.

(VERSE 2) Oh please listen to me, I’m sendin’ you a message, oh yeah, please hear, I’m there, no, oh yeah, please please please please go back BACK BACK!!! BACK TO YOUR HOME! BACK TO WHERE YOU BELONG! OH BABY I’M HERE! BUT GO BACK!! YOUR PROMISE BREAKS HURT MY GODDAMN HEART, YOUR SHIT IS HERE AGAIN, ABOUT TO START. But refraining from yelling, I’m here and now in a dwelling, you’re getting’ away from me, oh yeah, I’m actually glad, I think you’re sad but it was your fault, and no one else’s but yours, I hope you know that, oh please don’t offend, I mean no harm, I’m just stating my opinion.

(CHORUS) I could feel the heart beat slowly drifting across the lane, the sound effects, the radiance of hearing about Maine, I was sad, feeling mad, definitely not glad, please up your professionalness, I’m tired, I’m gonna get fired about this oh man, please be my friend, oh man, those broken promises are lame (OH, OH) and they’re gonna get up my whole fame, (OH, OH) I’m pissed right now, seriously abound, and I will not put up with this.

(CONCLUSION) The promises you broke were practically exhausting, I got up your ass the whole time with a sting, I mean no harm, keep that in mind, you innocent girl, oh yeah.

(CHORUS) I could feel the heart beat slowly drifting across the lane, the sound effects, the radiance of hearing about Maine, I was sad, feeling mad, definitely not glad, please up your professionalness, I’m tired, I’m gonna get fired about this oh man, please be my friend, oh man, those broken promises are lame (OH, OH) and they’re gonna get up my whole fame, (OH, OH) I’m pissed right now, seriously abound, and I will not put up with this.
CENSORED VERSION:
Spoiler: show
(VERSE 1) Yeah, I could feel the heart beat runnin’ up and catchin’ up with me, the sound effects are dramatized and makin’ me wanna get up and flee, but what else can you expect? A better simplistic affect? I’m quite disappointed, run-up confounded about your cruel humor running up my malted milk, makin’ it sweat, in horrible debt, and you wanna bet? Well then buzz off, *****! Greedy little ************ want everything they can, too bad, seriously, I am disgusted by that flea, OMG, my knee, it’s suckin’ the blood, killin’ my bud, sittin’ by me pickin’ at his nose, like a filthy ***, but really, keep your promises, I’m extremely furious, I mean I’m ****ing serious, delirious, even curious, why do you fib, put down the nib, little ****head suckin’ through the mid, trying to ignore, ya *****, stop it or face the gore, for **** sake, I’m not Drake, keep ya comments awake, for the love of the lord, I’m bored, getting’ my sword, cuttin’ my face, not in a particular pace, I’m mad, I’m also sad what the **** keep it away, ****in’ ***hat all day, holy moly, I feel rolly, I mean, please just help me.

(CHORUS) I could feel the heart beat slowly drifting across the lane, the sound effects, the radiance of hearing about Maine, I was sad, feeling mad, definitely not glad, please up your professionalness, I’m tired, I’m gonna get fired about this oh man, please be my friend, oh man, those broken promises are lame (OH, OH) and they’re gonna get up my whole fame, (OH, OH) I’m ****ed right now, seriously abound, and I will not put up with this.

(VERSE 2) Oh please listen to me, I’m sendin’ you a message, oh yeah, please hear, I’m there, no, oh yeah, please please please please go back BACK BACK!!! BACK TO YOUR HOME! BACK TO WHERE YOU BELONG! OH BABY I’M HERE! BUT GO BACK!! YOUR PROMISE BREAKS HURT MY ******* HEART, YOUR **** IS AGAIN, ABOUT TO START. But refraining from yelling, I’m here and now in a dwelling, you’re getting’ away from me, oh yeah, I’m actually glad, I think you’re sad but it was your fault, and no one else’s but yours, I hope you know that, oh please don’t offend, I mean no harm, I’m just stating my opinion.

(CHORUS) I could feel the heart beat slowly drifting across the lane, the sound effects, the radiance of hearing about Maine, I was sad, feeling mad, definitely not glad, please up your professionalness, I’m tired, I’m gonna get fired about this oh man, please be my friend, oh man, those broken promises are lame (OH, OH) and they’re gonna get up my whole fame, (OH, OH) I’m ****ed right now, seriously abound, and I will not put up with this.

(CONCLUSION) The promises you broke were practically exhausting, I got up your *** the whole time with a sting, I mean no harm, keep that in mind, you innocent girl, oh yeah.

(CHORUS) I could feel the heart beat slowly drifting across the lane, the sound effects, the radiance of hearing about Maine, I was sad, feeling mad, definitely not glad, please up your professionalness, I’m tired, I’m gonna get fired about this oh man, please be my friend, oh man, those broken promises are lame (OH, OH) and they’re gonna get up my whole fame, (OH, OH) I’m ****ed right now, seriously abound, and I will not put up with this.

Alternatively, lately, I've been creating some pop songs. Unfortunately however, I've only made one of them so far, I hope to finish some more (I haven't created one for a few months though). Anyway, my first one actually leaves an obvious message, regarding bullies and how ones should help prevent it.
I'm not sure if the concept is that compatible with a song, but hopefully it'll work up enough so at least some of y'all enjoy it. I'll rate it 14 and over for some vulgarity and crude humor. Made in November 24, 2013.

EXPLICIT VERSION:
Spoiler: show
(VERSE 1) I was sittin’ down.
I caught a little girl, her skin was brown.
These two tiny boys.
Were laughing and pointing like she was utter toys.
I got really pissed.
Spoke up and slapped ‘em but then I missed.
They put up their fist.
Waved it up in the mist.
They pretended to kiss.
They began to hiss.

But I didn’t tolerate it.

(PRE-CHORUS) I was thinking what pieces of shits, this was brutal this could cause some fits, but it’s totally serious.

(CHORUS) It’s mysterious, it’s delirious, not anything you’d wanna mess with, these bullies they’re foolies, and they want your blood, but it’s a big fat dud, worse than a flash flood, not even a stud, not a bud.

(VERSE 2) First thing I know.
The boys were callin’ the girl a worthless hoe.
You piece of shit.
I heard them calling and she was throwing a fit.
Her house was yonder.
She couldn’t wander but just go.
She’d tell her mom.
Her face would bomb.
But it would be okay.
And everyday.

She would stay.

(PRE-CHORUS) I was thinking what pieces of shits, this was brutal this could cause some fits, but it’s totally serious.

(CHORUS) It’s mysterious, it’s delirious, not anything you’d wanna mess with, these bullies they’re foolies, and they want your blood, but it’s a big fat dud, worse than a flash flood, not even a stud, not a bud.

(VERSE 3) I’ve learned a lesson.
When there’s bullies you go make a confession.
Don’t hide it.
Or else you’ll regret not making a submit.
It’s bad.
It makes everybody sad.
These kids.
Don’t know.
Who they’re making suffer has a go.
So please.

Get on your knees.

(PRE-CHORUS) I was thinking what pieces of shits, this was brutal this could cause some fits, but it’s totally serious.

(CHORUS) It’s mysterious, it’s delirious, not anything you’d wanna mess with, these bullies they’re foolies, and they want your blood, but it’s a big fat dud, worse than a flash flood, not even a stud, not a bud.

(Make a high pitched “OH!!!”)

(CHORUS) It’s mysterious, it’s delirious, not anything you’d wanna mess with, these bullies they’re foolies, and they want your blood, but it’s a big fat dud, worse than a flash flood, not even a stud, not a bud.
CENSORED VERSION:
Spoiler: show
(VERSE 1) I was sittin’ down.
I caught a little girl, her skin was brown.
These two tiny boys.
Were laughing and pointing like she was utter toys.
I got really ****ed.
Spoke up and slapped ‘em but then I missed.
They put up their fist.
Waved it up in the mist.
They pretended to kiss.
They began to hiss.

But I didn’t tolerate it.

(PRE-CHORUS) I was thinking what pieces of ****s, this was brutal this could cause some fits, but it’s totally serious.

(CHORUS) It’s mysterious, it’s delirious, not anything you’d wanna mess with, these bullies they’re foolies, and they want your blood, but it’s a big fat dud, worse than a flash flood, not even a stud, not a bud.

(VERSE 2) First thing I know.
The boys were callin’ the girl a worthless ***.
You piece of ****.
I heard them calling and she was throwing a fit.
Her house was yonder.
She couldn’t wander but just go.
She’d tell her mom.
Her face would bomb.
But it would be okay.
And everyday.

She would stay.

(PRE-CHORUS) I was thinking what pieces of ****s, this was brutal this could cause some fits, but it’s totally serious.

(CHORUS) It’s mysterious, it’s delirious, not anything you’d wanna mess with, these bullies they’re foolies, and they want your blood, but it’s a big fat dud, worse than a flash flood, not even a stud, not a bud.

(VERSE 3) I’ve learned a lesson.
When there’s bullies you go make a confession.
Don’t hide it.
Or else you’ll regret not making a submit.
It’s bad.
It makes everybody sad.
These kids.
Don’t know.
Who they’re making suffer has a go.
So please.

Get on your knees.

(PRE-CHORUS) I was thinking what pieces of ****s, this was brutal this could cause some fits, but it’s totally serious.

(CHORUS) It’s mysterious, it’s delirious, not anything you’d wanna mess with, these bullies they’re foolies, and they want your blood, but it’s a big fat dud, worse than a flash flood, not even a stud, not a bud.

(Make a high pitched “OH!!!”)

(CHORUS) It’s mysterious, it’s delirious, not anything you’d wanna mess with, these bullies they’re foolies, and they want your blood, but it’s a big fat dud, worse than a flash flood, not even a stud, not a bud.


That's it for now. Expect another one to get released by late January. The title will remain undetermined for quite a bit of time, and then I'll tell the public what it is, and later I'll show it to y'all. Otherwise, replies and positive/negative plus constructive feedback is highly appreciated as always.
See ya.
Last edited by silent_ on Tue Jan 14, 2014 10:42 am, edited 2 times in total.

Shadow Yoshi
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Re: Kep's Raps and General Songs

Postby Shadow Yoshi » Sun Jan 05, 2014 6:03 pm

Before I get to the verses, it would be a good idea if you organized your lyrics like you did in the last example. The first two were hard to read.

Anyway, I think you should listen to more old school rap. Famous present-day rappers, for the most part, have no idea what they're doing; your rhyme structure and flow could use a lot of work. I would start out by taking actual rap songs and writing raps over them. This way you can get more of a feeling of how rap actually works - it's not just poetry.

Ready to Die by Biggie Smalls (the Notorious B.I.G.), The Chronic by Dr. Dre, and Snoop Dogg's Doggystyle and Tha Doggfather are 4 of the best albums I can think of that you should take a listen to.

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Re: Kep's Raps and General Songs

Postby Raster » Mon Jan 06, 2014 1:40 pm

Joey wrote:Anyway, I think you should listen to more old school rap. Famous present-day rappers, for the most part, have no idea what they're doing
Yes, modern rap is pretty awful. Most of modern rap lyrics would probably make Pac want to commit suicide.

Well, the lyrics don't really express anything to me; you might want to work more on the lyrical part of your songs. Non-censored music is also called explicit, which is the more widely used term for it. Like Joey said you should take a listen to rap albums for inspiration. You can find a lot of quality stuff on iTunes or buy some used vinyl from the store for real cheap.

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Re: Kep's Raps and General Songs

Postby Keddy » Sat Jan 11, 2014 7:56 pm

First off, can I ask where you got your inspiration: like particular artists....
Second, I'd recommend you do your lyrics like this
Spoiler: show
Verse 1:
my poor excuse for an example with word that rhymes here,
then the next line that with the word that rhymes here.
Notice as the first line has the comma, and the second has a period to organize your lyrics and know which word matches with which. This structure also helps, if you put it to a beat/song, or a freestyle as then you don't lose your place. Also, make a new line for a new sentence so you don't end up with a mammoth paragraph, it just makes it so organized.
Lastly, yes old school song are not only better, but can help you to create a unique style of your own. Modern rappers are just rehashing/mixing up the old school raps, but they are doing it terribly. I would also suggest you get better word choice in there, you don't have to be that formal, you can slang words around and use a more common synonym for them so that you maintain a consistent and "good sounding 'flow' ".

And yes if you are wondering why I know so much on how to do this is because i actually did this a few years ago. I still do, but not as frequent and only freestyles, due to the fact my flow isn't so great and I'm unable to come up with any new beats...

silent_
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Re: Kep's Raps and General Songs

Postby silent_ » Sun Jan 12, 2014 5:59 pm

Joey wrote:Before I get to the verses, it would be a good idea if you organized your lyrics like you did in the last example. The first two were hard to read.

Anyway, I think you should listen to more old school rap. Famous present-day rappers, for the most part, have no idea what they're doing; your rhyme structure and flow could use a lot of work. I would start out by taking actual rap songs and writing raps over them. This way you can get more of a feeling of how rap actually works - it's not just poetry.

Ready to Die by Biggie Smalls (the Notorious B.I.G.), The Chronic by Dr. Dre, and Snoop Dogg's Doggystyle and Tha Doggfather are 4 of the best albums I can think of that you should take a listen to.
I apologize for the late reply Joey, and yeah, I comprehend your meaning of organizing my lyrics more for the first two raps. At that particular moment I barely had any idea what I was doing, so I kinda just wrote a bunch of stuff down, practically brainless, not choosing a compatible beat.
I'm not a fan of old school rap myself, but since I've never listened to anything regarding that stage I assume that I should consider it. I personally disagree with your statement: "Famous present-day rappers, for the most part, have no idea what they're doing" because I feel that's not true, specially as how would they get published if their professionals thought that? Exactly.
I could improve with my rhyming structure, and same goes with the flow. That doesn't sound incredibly complicated, frankly.
Thanks for the support and constructive criticism, Joey. For some reason formerly I knew you'd come here immediately.
Raster wrote:
Joey wrote:Anyway, I think you should listen to more old school rap. Famous present-day rappers, for the most part, have no idea what they're doing
Yes, modern rap is pretty awful. Most of modern rap lyrics would probably make Pac want to commit suicide.

Well, the lyrics don't really express anything to me; you might want to work more on the lyrical part of your songs. Non-censored music is also called explicit, which is the more widely used term for it. Like Joey said you should take a listen to rap albums for inspiration. You can find a lot of quality stuff on iTunes or buy some used vinyl from the store for real cheap.
Modern rap is certainly not awful, it's actually A LOT better than oldschool. Quite right that that's quite an objective subject to debate about, however.
Anyway, yeah, I just noticed that the lyrics were lousily developed, and they could be improved. Thanks for pointing that out. I alternatively changed non-censored to explicit, though I don't use that term much occasionally just coz I feel it's quite odd (don't question me, man).
elitalianoverde wrote:First off, can I ask where you got your inspiration: like particular artists....
Second, I'd recommend you do your lyrics like this
Spoiler: show
Verse 1:
my poor excuse for an example with word that rhymes here,
then the next line that with the word that rhymes here.
Notice as the first line has the comma, and the second has a period to organize your lyrics and know which word matches with which. This structure also helps, if you put it to a beat/song, or a freestyle as then you don't lose your place. Also, make a new line for a new sentence so you don't end up with a mammoth paragraph, it just makes it so organized.
Lastly, yes old school song are not only better, but can help you to create a unique style of your own. Modern rappers are just rehashing/mixing up the old school raps, but they are doing it terribly. I would also suggest you get better word choice in there, you don't have to be that formal, you can slang words around and use a more common synonym for them so that you maintain a consistent and "good sounding 'flow' ".

And yes if you are wondering why I know so much on how to do this is because i actually did this a few years ago. I still do, but not as frequent and only freestyles, due to the fact my flow isn't so great and I'm unable to come up with any new beats...
I appreciate the gigantic paragraph, I admire your dedication.
Inspiration? I'd say Eminem (him mostly, being particular), Macklemore, Pitbull, Lil Wayne, and Dr. Dre. That's my top five. There's a lot of others I'd rather not mention right now, and if I did it'd gradually construct a whole, dragged-on paragraph.
I'll take that first recommendation seriously, it sounds like a neat concept that would assist tons. I like everything else you said, too, despite the fact you once again remarking that oldschool rap is better than modern-day.


The new song name is official! It's named Dig my Grave, briskly being for mature audiences only, for adult language and mild violence. I'll take you guys' suggestions seriously, and certainly abide by them for my next musical that consists of rap.
It'll take a few more minutes/hours/days/weeks to test it out, and I could have it up as soon as today, if everything works well.
Last edited by silent_ on Tue Jan 14, 2014 10:41 am, edited 1 time in total.

Shadow Yoshi
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Re: Kep's Raps and General Songs

Postby Shadow Yoshi » Sun Jan 12, 2014 6:31 pm

Kep wrote:Eminem (him mostly, being particular), Macklemore, Pitbull, Lil Wayne, and Dr. Dre
I have mixed opinions for Eminem - some of his really old stuff was good but some of it wasn't, whereas he's turned into much more of a pop artist now. It's all to please the general public, I guess.

Macklemore is annoying, really. I heard Thrift Shop about 4 months before it was really popular; the "walk up in the club" line was funny the first time I heard it, but other than that I don't care much for the song. The few other songs of his that I've heard are less rap and more pop, but I have to give him a little credit for being able to rap with clean lyrics. Not nearly to the caliber of Will Smith, though.

Pitbull wouldn't be so bad if he at least tried to be original, but he doesn't. Ever.

I've never heard anything of value from Wayne.

Dr. Dre is, in many regards, the king of rap. The Chronic (1992) was easily one of the most influential hip hop/rap albums of all time, and set the stage for gangsta rap as a genre. His second album, 2001, was a good one as well. Other than that, Dre hasn't actually released anything outside of some singles. As a producer, though...damn. He's done a lot. He has also frequently rapped on other artists' albums.

Kep, link me to your favorite rap song.

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Re: Kep's Raps and General Songs

Postby silent_ » Mon Jan 13, 2014 4:33 pm

I don't necessarily have a favorite, but here's two that I mostly get my inspiration from and admire:
Spoiler: show
Of all songs, I choose this one lol. Something regarding it makes me feel that's it's so original, I adore it.
Spoiler: show
If this song didn't have an important message, I wouldn't like it and get inspired by it, but overall it's just brilliantly... beautiful.

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Re: Kep's Raps and General Songs

Postby Raster » Mon Jan 13, 2014 5:05 pm

Eminem (him mostly, being particular), Macklemore, Pitbull, Lil Wayne, and Dr. Dre
I like Eminem, specifically his Slim Shady self. Marshall Mathers not that much. Pitbull is a joke and most of his recent collabs are pretty lousy (timber?.) Macklemore has some good stuff (same love, can't hold us) but some of his songs are overplayed and annoying (thrift shop for example.)

And I'm not sure about Weezy. He seems to be more controversial nowadays in lieu of trying to come up with original stuff (his death hoax was pretty pathetic.)

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Re: Kep's Raps and General Songs

Postby Keddy » Mon Jan 13, 2014 6:29 pm

Kep wrote: I appreciate the gigantic paragraph, I admire your dedication.
Inspiration? I'd say Eminem (him mostly, being particular), Macklemore, Pitbull, Lil Wayne, and Dr. Dre. That's my top five. There's a lot of others I'd rather not mention right now, and if I did it'd gradually construct a whole, dragged-on paragraph.
I'll take that first recommendation seriously, it sounds like a neat concept that would assist tons. I like everything else you said, too, despite the fact you once again remarking that oldschool rap is better than modern-day.
I'd agree with Joey on Eminem, I don't listen to him much, but yeah his older songs some good, some bad, for me Eminem is Ight...
Never heard of Macklemore, so i'll have to check him out.
I also agree with Joey on Pitbull, but i'd like to add a personal note, back then he used to be very popular in the Latino Community(My Community) and now he's uber popular doing songs with everyone here. The Latino Community still admires him, but to me he's a disgrace, just unoriginal, to me he's sold out...
Dr. Dre now he's an inspiration, i'll commend you on that one...
Joey wrote:I've never heard anything of value from Wayne.
Lastly, I wish I had a better example of what I'm talking about the structure, but my work is on paper/in Spanish/lost in time....sorry.
Kep wrote: If you're wondering, soon I'll have up another category on my original thread that's family-friendly songs that are for children from zero years old to elders a hundred plus to enjoy! This is mainly because most of the songs that are under the works currently are slightly inappropriate.
All I can say is good luck, I've never heard any family-friendly songs for children that are either the same song me and you like just censored out; or those songs they pass out at the mcdonalds with your kids meal...

Spoiler for disclaimer...
Spoiler: show
Everything I said was "my opinion"....Plz don't hate me...

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Re: Kep's Raps and General Songs

Postby silent_ » Tue Jan 14, 2014 10:38 am

Spoiler: show
Raster wrote:
Eminem (him mostly, being particular), Macklemore, Pitbull, Lil Wayne, and Dr. Dre
I like Eminem, specifically his Slim Shady self. Marshall Mathers not that much. Pitbull is a joke and most of his recent collabs are pretty lousy (timber?.) Macklemore has some good stuff (same love, can't hold us) but some of his songs are overplayed and annoying (thrift shop for example.)

And I'm not sure about Weezy. He seems to be more controversial nowadays in lieu of trying to come up with original stuff (his death hoax was pretty pathetic.)
I'm glad you enjoy Eminem, and according to recent lists (can't say I acknowledge them) he's the 20th best rapper in the world.
Yeah, Marshal Mathers is just a joke, nothing much that could necessarily express anyone.
Pitbull could be lousy, but I don't see how he could of been in Timber, frankly. I really admire that song, probably my fourth favorite for rap or something.
I don't mind Thrift Shop, maybe if I owned a rap radio station I'd play it all the time. It could be slightly overrated, however, and it's certainly not a greatest song.
"Weezy" lol
Spoiler: show
elitalianoverde wrote:
Kep wrote: I appreciate the gigantic paragraph, I admire your dedication.
Inspiration? I'd say Eminem (him mostly, being particular), Macklemore, Pitbull, Lil Wayne, and Dr. Dre. That's my top five. There's a lot of others I'd rather not mention right now, and if I did it'd gradually construct a whole, dragged-on paragraph.
I'll take that first recommendation seriously, it sounds like a neat concept that would assist tons. I like everything else you said, too, despite the fact you once again remarking that oldschool rap is better than modern-day.
I'd agree with Joey on Eminem, I don't listen to him much, but yeah his older songs some good, some bad, for me Eminem is Ight...
Never heard of Macklemore, so i'll have to check him out.
I also agree with Joey on Pitbull, but i'd like to add a personal note, back then he used to be very popular in the Latino Community(My Community) and now he's uber popular doing songs with everyone here. The Latino Community still admires him, but to me he's a disgrace, just unoriginal, to me he's sold out...
Dr. Dre now he's an inspiration, i'll commend you on that one...
Joey wrote:I've never heard anything of value from Wayne.
Lastly, I wish I had a better example of what I'm talking about the structure, but my work is on paper/in Spanish/lost in time....sorry.
Kep wrote: If you're wondering, soon I'll have up another category on my original thread that's family-friendly songs that are for children from zero years old to elders a hundred plus to enjoy! This is mainly because most of the songs that are under the works currently are slightly inappropriate.
All I can say is good luck, I've never heard any family-friendly songs for children that are either the same song me and you like just censored out; or those songs they pass out at the mcdonalds with your kids meal...

Spoiler for disclaimer...
Spoiler: show
Everything I said was "my opinion"....Plz don't hate me...
Eminem is "Ight?" I'm not sure regarding that word. Also, yeah, definitely consider checking out Macklemore, he's one of the best rappers out there in my opinion. Just make sure you listen to Thrift Shop first, as long as you don't mind a bunch of cursing.
Pitbull has been nearly ripping off popular songs, and I don't respect him for that. Maybe instead of doing collaborations he should develop his own rap, don't sing the verses of a darn women's song, that doesn't work out well (I guess it depends off of a user's perspective though).
Dr. Dre has always been one of my individual inspirations, I assume I've never remarked that to the public, though.


I'm actually not doing any songs that are family-friendly, I already rethought the whole concept, but I guess it was all unnecessary in the first place so don't expect this at all. I'm just sticking to the whole rap and pop thing.

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Re: Kep's Raps and General Songs

Postby Shadow Yoshi » Tue Jan 14, 2014 3:47 pm

"Ight" is jive for "alright".

I guess I just don't really like it when rap and pop mix.

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Re: Kep's Raps and General Songs

Postby Keddy » Tue Jan 14, 2014 4:04 pm

Precisely, also I went to Youtube heard Macklemore's Thrift Shop song and then I remembered I did hear It a long time ago, I just didn't know who sung it.

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Re: Kep's Raps and General Songs

Postby silent_ » Tue Jan 14, 2014 4:20 pm

Joey wrote:"Ight" is jive for "alright".

I guess I just don't really like it when rap and pop mix.
I actually realized that "ight" is jive for alright, but I was concerned that he was was saying "Eminem is ight" when he's frankly the dude is just pure epic. (It's just a matter of objective opinions.)
I wasn't saying that I was going to mix rap and pop, but I was mentioning that I don't only develop rap songs. I could construct a pop song every once in a blue moon, and Bullies is an example of it (it's the third song featured in the original thread). Additionally, notice that the title says "Kep's Raps and GENERAL songs," which means that they don't necessarily as a whole consist of rap entirely.
elitalianoverde wrote:Precisely, also I went to Youtube heard Macklemore's Thrift Shop song and then I remembered I did hear It a long time ago, I just didn't know who sung it.

Did you listen to any of his other songs? Did you enjoy them? I'm anxious.

IMPORTANT INFORMATION: "Dig my Grave", the current rap song I'm working on right now, is going to have a slight delay due to the lyrics not making any sense (for instance, I was talking about exiting a circus, seeing old man Bercuss - well, let's just stop right now). I just discerned this. Unfortunately, my only option is to remake the lyrics.
It'll probably take another full month, guys. Bear in mind that in itself it takes me weeks to brainstorm an idea on pencil and paper, more weeks to actually edit and revise it, more weeks to type it (a tiny bit exaggerated; it doesn't take "weeks" to type a simple paper but days I assume), weeks to find a corresponding tune, and weeks to finalize it. It could take at the max four months. Most songs I created earlier took even more time than that, I think (especially as before I couldn't even stay motivated to do anything until I had to listen to continuous rap songs from my inspirations, and then research the steps to making a rap in itself for the most part).
Be patient, but I'd appreciate this post to stay fairly active for updates and stuff, also I don't mind if y'all ask me any questions regarding what my favorite rap artists or songs are, etc.
I guess those aren't that off-topic as long as it stays with the fact that rap and pop have to do with this thread.

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Re: Kep's Raps and General Songs (Dig my Grave Rap Preview)

Postby silent_ » Sun Jan 26, 2014 8:33 pm

Those who were wondering, here's the beginning part of my yet upcoming rap mentioned previously named "Dig my Grave". Leave back your thoughts. WARNING - it contains strong language!
The finished product will be held approximately February fifth to fifteenth.

“Dig my Grave”
Spoiler: show
(OPENING WORDS - NOT RAP) What up, what up, hello, hello,
I’m eating some damn ass jello.
This shit makes me burn,
But I assume I’ll never fucking learn.
Next thing you know this big fat dick guy,
Came over here like he’s all cute and fly.
“Hey bitch, what do you say?
“Are you a fucktard? Are you gay?”
So I’m like, “Aww, that’s cheating,
“That’s sour.
“That’s some shit I want to devour.”

(CHORUS) So he dug my grave,
All the humans wave,
So the preacher’s end
Had to descend,
And all those people
Stared at the steeple,
Looking fine and bright
Throughout the night.
A censored version isn't available yet unfortunately.

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Re: Kep's Raps and General Songs

Postby silent_ » Mon Jan 27, 2014 4:23 pm

The opening words and chorus was modified, and verse 1 was made. Still bear in mind the following song includes strong language and (so far) minor violence.

"Dig my Grave"
Spoiler: show
(OPENING WORDS - NOT RAP) What up, what up, hello, hello, hello
I’m eating some damn ass jello.
That shit makes me burn,
But I assume I’ll never fucking learn.
Next thing you know this big fat dick guy,
Came over here like he’s all cute and fly.
“Hey bitch (hey bitch), what do you say (say)?
Are you a fucktard (retard)? Are you gay (gay)?”
So I’m like, “Aww, that’s cheating (damn),
“That’s sour.
That’s some shit I want to devour.”

(CHORUS) So he dug my grave,
All the humans wave,
So the preacher’s end
Had to descend,
And all those people
Stared at the steeple,
Looking fine and bright
Throughout the night. (x2)

(DUNGEON MUSIC ABRUPTLY PLAYS)
(VERSE 1) (THE FIRST TWO LINES ARE NOT RAP) (SAID IN A DEEP, DEEP VOICE) Locked in up a cage (the A in the term "cage" is pronounced long, you say it for six seconds and hold your breath like caaaaaaage)
Motherfuckin' rage (the same thing with "cage" the A is pronounced long like raaaaaaaage)
(RAP STARTS NOW) (DEEP VOICE STOPS; NORMAL)
Hello hello hello,
My damn face's yellow.
Haven't had any food,
Not in a good mood,
Just chewed,
I'm rude,
To who viewed,
And crude.
(SUDDEN PAUSE)
And now I can go,
To who can fucking row,
So I can approach a boat,
And get bit by a goat (oww, you shit)
Visit the moat (saw a lady's tit)
So she could dig my grave (how could a pretty girl do such)
See the butler wave (I didn't like him too much)
So here we go again,
I saw that cruel wren.
He cawed at me,
I wanted to flee,
But that damn bitch butler prevented me.
He said, "Aww you pussy, how tight,
How damn tight in the night."
I didn't care,
I didn't share,
I didn't get air,
No fair,
Over there,
(I didn't dare!)

(ANOTHER PAUSE)

(CHORUS) So he dug my grave,
All the humans wave,
So the preacher’s end
Had to descend,
And all those people
Stared at the steeple,
Looking fine and bright
Throughout the night. (x2)

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Re: Kep's Raps and General Songs

Postby Shadow Yoshi » Mon Jan 27, 2014 5:24 pm

I would suggest making your raps based upon a beat. It will allow us to follow better.

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Re: Kep's Raps and General Songs

Postby silent_ » Mon Jan 27, 2014 7:25 pm

Joey wrote:I would suggest making your raps based upon a beat. It will allow us to follow better.
I certainly appreciate the constructive criticism, but how could I comprehend you with that? It's not like I could in my lyrics every occasion put in parenthesis BOOM or something in similarity. I indubitably alternatively couldn't compose anything and I'd be way too patent and farouche (auto-correct says that isn't a word and it is according to web definitions) to sing it on recording (I have the most pitiful voice vocally ever heard on the planet).

EDIT: UPDATES!
The finished product of Dig my Grave will now be held late January to early February at the latest. Its date decreased because I've frankly been constructing it a lot of hours straight each day, brainstorming lyrics and every once in a blue moon modifying them.

Additionally, I will remake the song "Dead" sometime in February. Bear in mind that after Dig my Grave is concluded, I will take a week or few weeks off of developing any songs coz in those days I specially focus on my SMBX project.

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Re: Kep's Raps and General Songs

Postby depressedknicksfan » Thu Jan 30, 2014 8:24 pm

Joey wrote:This way you can get more of a feeling of how rap actually works - it's not just poetry.

Ready to Die by Biggie Smalls (the Notorious B.I.G.), The Chronic by Dr. Dre, and Snoop Dogg's Doggystyle and Tha Doggfather are 4 of the best albums I can think of that you should take a listen to.
The way I would see it, rap without music should be poetic, in a sense. I should really feel the flow of your thoughts in your work. I agree with Joey that you should look at old school rappers. Let me add in Enter the Wu-Tang (Wu-Tang Clan) and 3 Feet High & Rising from De La Soul. Have you figured out what styles to use with your lyrics?

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Re: Kep's Raps and General Songs

Postby Shadow Yoshi » Thu Jan 30, 2014 9:41 pm

depressedknicksfan wrote:Enter the Wu-Tang (Wu-Tang Clan) and 3 Feet High & Rising from De La Soul.
Great suggestions.

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Re: Kep's Raps and General Songs

Postby silent_ » Fri Jan 31, 2014 3:18 pm

Apologies for being a nuisance, but Joey:
Kep wrote:
Joey wrote:I would suggest making your raps based upon a beat. It will allow us to follow better.
I certainly appreciate the constructive criticism, but how could I comprehend you with that? It's not like I could in my lyrics every occasion put in parenthesis BOOM or something in similarity. I indubitably alternatively couldn't compose anything and I'd be way too patent and farouche (auto-correct says that isn't a word and it is according to web definitions) to sing it on recording (I have the most pitiful voice vocally ever heard on the planet).


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