My Story : Slender

KateBulka · Postby **KateBulka** » Thu Aug 21, 2014 1:31 pm

My story : Slender

Spoiler: show

2 day:

Spoiler: show

RudeGuy · Postby **RudeGuy** » Thu Aug 21, 2014 1:34 pm

First of all, this is too short. I recommend to write more.
Second, I can't understand anything. Write in a better english please.

Nanaya · Postby **Nanaya** » Thu Aug 21, 2014 1:38 pm

Well that was interesting but it was not the best storys yet to date. You tried to make a story off of the lore of the game slender but it was too short and quite confusing.
Rating: 6.7
Work on a majority amount of the story.

Postby **glitch4** » Thu Aug 21, 2014 2:32 pm

Christian07 wrote:Write in a better english please.

....uhhh you know that he's 10 , and....Still, his english is terrible, it may be taken a few years to get his english a bit better... Just leave him with a crappy grammar alone... He will pay attention with these.

lighthouse64 · Postby **lighthouse64** » Thu Aug 21, 2014 3:14 pm

GLDude wrote:
Christian07 wrote:Write in a better english please.
....uhhh you know that he's 10 , and....Still, his english is terrible, it may be taken a few years to get his english a bit better... Just leave him with a crappy grammar alone... He will pay attention with these.

oh... Um you know 10 year olds don't always have bad grammar.

Postby **HenryRichard** » Sun Aug 24, 2014 3:24 pm

lighthouse64 wrote:
GLDude wrote:
Christian07 wrote:Write in a better english please.
....uhhh you know that he's 10 , and....Still, his english is terrible, it may be taken a few years to get his english a bit better... Just leave him with a crappy grammar alone... He will pay attention with these.
oh... Um you know 10 year olds don't always have bad grammar.

He lives in egypt, that's why it's not so great.

On topic, the story is rather meh, try making it longer.