Emral wrote: ↑Sat Nov 23, 2024 9:16 pm
Review:
I really like the concept! You find clever ways of hiding things from the player without making progress unfair or frustrating. I like the progression into the storm clouds as well. In terms of visuals and design the level is a little barebones. The boss came very suddenly, and I can't help but feel like there is more potential unexplored with the ideas here.
Concept: 8/10: It's a strong concept, but not quite blockbuster status.
Execution: 4/10: You combine your concealment idea well with some things like Thwomp, Foo Cloud and Lakitu, but it doesn't significantly iterate on the idea and has no particularly surprising or standout applications of the concept.
I did kinda cut it short, abandoning some setups and NPCs to make the boss fight simple but ig I cut it a bit too much
Flavour: 5/10: The visual progression is very nice, and the foreground smiley clouds made me smile because they look so kind. I would have liked to see some of your fun writing to tie the level together and add a touch of humour.
I'm inclined to do the opposite, making the clouds be angry or gloomy as it matches the mood of the background at the last section. However, I'll add the happy clouds with dialogues in secret areas.
I don't give extra credits score in my reviews.
Verdict: 4.7/9
Great concept, but a bit half-baked at the moment. I have a few things in the advice section that could up its flavour and maybe iterate on the mechanic without being too high-effort.
Thanks for the review!
Advice:
This advice section just contains brainstorming on how the idea could be recontextualized for one-off jokes or further exploration of the level's mechanics.
I think the level is greatly improved if a pre-boss section is added for the last checkpoint, and some NPCs near the start remark on how Lakitu ruins their life (by making their glasses foggy, causing flying traffic jams, etc).
I do have an idea for a story for this but decided not to add it as of now
There will be a fake SMW Goal Post and next to it is group of clouds. As Mario walks to it, it reveals that the clouds cover up a pit, and Mario dies. Lakitu, the camera guy, follows Mario down the cliff and they will fight because Lakitu films so far that the foo clouds obstruct the player's view on Mario.
I decided not to add it because the level feels like it's an actual Lakitu domain instead of a place where Mario and Lakitu decided to hike, but I do agree it feels abrupt, so ig I'm adding the cutscene for context.
1. Something that turns into something else when it passes behind a foreground cloud
This could be accomplished by using a LoZ keypad that you need a key for. At the top of the screen is a key above a turn block and beside it, a mushroom block above another turn block. You need to throw something up to get them down. Either item gets covered in cloud particles when it falls through a cloud to get to you. When you hold it and walk around, the particles clear, revealing that the key turned into a mushroom block! And vice-versa.
I think this is good especially since I turn the one of the mines in the second phase into a mushroom block. Ig it addresses the slight confusion on the second phase on why one of the mines turn into a mushroom block. I'll keep this idea in mind
2. Using shadows to foreshadow something falling down from very very high up off-screen
The player should stick around on this screen to see what it is! Best if it's something silly. While they're waiting, maybe other NPCs also show up to look at it.
I feel sad I didn't think of this one lmao. Will add it in a secret area probably
3. Using the top-half-cloud-cover in a platforming section before the boss
A section where spinies randomly rain down as you try to platform across the skies. Sometimes the spinies are something else, like a sumo bros lightning or a powerup!
It meshes well with the first phase of the boss! I'll add it as the last section before the boss
4. Fake enemies that don't have a shadow
Best used with thwomps. It'd be something where you have to get through a ceiling covered in thwomps, so it might be hard to apply in a horizontal section. One thwomp is friendly and has no shadow. Maybe it is for a bonus.
4.1 If you have a type of platform that casts a shadow, the same concept could be applied to those.
I'll consider it as a way to another secret area, but I'm a bit iffy on it since there's a millisecond where the players feel betrayed when they don't see a shadow but Thwomp still falls under them
5. Moving foreground clouds that obstruct things more dynamically
Very half-baked idea but it could be leveraged for a more free-form collection of screens, where you have to deal with jumping enemies.
I tried to make the foreground clouds move faster but they feel dizzying to look at. I'll consider this one but I can't promise on this
Just some ideas to get the mind gears turning. Use all, any or none to your heart's content.
Thanks for the ideas!
Also that mushroom stacking on the first phase lmao
I kinda want to keep it but it's too easy to be found so ig I'll fix it