The Curse of Mimikyu (My first attempt at writing a creepypasta)

[HeroLinik]

Pokemon Sun and Moon are the two newest entries into the Pokemon franchise, introducing the seventh generation. It involves you and your Pokemon as you explore the Alola region, completing island trials (in place of gyms) and questing to become the very best, like no-one ever was (even though we've done it before a hundred times before). As this is a new generation, a whole new set of Pokemon appear, and I have to be honest some of them really fascinated me, such as the Ultra Beasts, whether it's the designs or the stat distribution, I'm not really sure to be honest.

However, one Pokemon has caught my attention above all, Mimikyu. I was hooked to this thing ever since it was revealed, wanting to get down to the bottom of it all. Unfortunately, one event has made me reconsider this decision, or maybe turn me off Pokemon completely, despite me being the lifelong megafan that I am.

Unfortunately, I'd been a little behind when picking up Pokemon games, largely due to school and money concerns getting in the way, so I was unable to pick up Sun and Moon on launch day. I had been watching my brother play through Sun ever since launch day and my fingers were itching to get into Alola. Thankfully enough, my wishes came true when I was given some pocket money from my girlfriend as a Christmas present, thus allowing me to venture out to the nearest GAME store, and lo and behold, there was a used copy of Pokemon Moon. I thought it was a bit weird that there would be a used copy that early on in the game's cycle, considering it came out, like, last month. However, I never let that get to me as I swiped the game off the shelf, forked over my money and excitedly skipped home to try it out.

When I loaded up the game, I had a small glimpse at the original save file. From what I could see, the original owner had collected about half of the Z-Crystals, and was in a location called "Thrifty Megamart (Abandoned Site)". I didn't want to spoil myself, so I deleted the file, picked Popplio as my starter, and soon I was off on my island challenge while ta*offstage* SHUT UP, WE DON'T CARE ABOUT MORE POINTLESS EXPOSITION, SNAP TO IT ALREADY!!

Anyway, I was heading for the abandoned Thrifty Megamart off Route 14, the same place where the previous owner had stopped, ready to take on the next trial. I steeled myself up and entered the dishevelled building, soaking up the atmosphere while also snapping some cool pics of Gastly, Haunter and Gengar. I just wanted to get the trial over with, considering I nearly lost to Lurantis and I didn't want it to happen again. My team was also good on levels as well and ready to take on anything. Before I entered the back room, I saved the game, then walked in.

"You can feel a pair of eyes sizing you up...The Poke Finder fired up all on its own!"

The Poke Finder opened by itself as though it had been possessed. All I could see was posters of Ash and Pikachu, and I heard some creepy voice in the background. I thought to myself "could this be...could this actually be...MIMIKYU?!" My suspicions were confirmed when I turned around to face the door, and there it was, right up close, looking at me with its gaping pencil-drawn eyes. I snapped a picture of it, and it was at this point where it started flashing between it and Pikachu, before settling on its previous form, as Mimikyu.

"Seeeeee meee?!"

I don't really understand how Mimikyu can talk, but considering it's trying to copy Pikachu, that's pretty understandable. I was sorta expecting Mimikyu to be the totem, and my suspicions were confirmed when the Totem Pokemon music kicked in. As soon as the cool awesome rainbow lens flare appeared, the music faded out in tone and volume...and then stopped, as if it had died. The screen then went black for about five seconds, at which point a message filled up the screen.

"Mimikyu...Mimikyu wants to be friends with you..."

I couldn't understand what was going on. Surely I should be battling Mimikyu as a totem, right? This isn't how things are supposed to play out. I closed the message box with A, and I was able to control my player character around the empty room. There was no music playing, and it felt dark, lonely and claustrophobic. I had a little walk around, examined the posters on the wall, which for some reason didn't give a message, and then I turned to leave.

The message about Mimikyu wanting to be friends appeared again, and my character turned away from the door. I tried to leave again. Same message.

At this point, I couldn't help but gape in disbelief. I was thinking to myself, this is what happens if I wait too long to pick up Pokemon games. I should have just pleaded with my mother for pocket money rather than wait. With that in mind, I shut off the game and asked my brother about the bizarre happenings.

Strangely enough, he did not know. By this point, he was climbing Mount Lanakila, Solgaleo in tow. All thoughts of doing the island trials were now a figment of his past memory; his main focus at this point was to get to the Pokemon League and beat the Elite Four and whoever the champion was, no matter how difficult. I was left with disappointment and fear, and I spent the next 30 minutes contemplating the events. Why was this happening to me? Did I deserve these events? These were to be forgotten because it was getting late, and decided to get some sleep.

When I restarted from where I left off the next day, I did all the events like they were prescribed. Bizarrely, the moment the totem battle began, the music faded out again as I was naturally expecting, but this time the game hung on the black screen for what seemed like a minute. At this point the same message with Mimikyu wanting to be friends appeared on-screen, then everything went black apart from my player character. This time, I could hear the faint cries of Mimikyu, but I couldn't move, only spin my character in place. After another minute of spinning around, trying to contemplate the meaning of my life and why I had to get into this ruckus, another message box appeared.

"..."

At this moment, a close-up of Mimikyu flashed up on the screen, as if it wanted to devour me.

"Me...me...curse you..."

Then the "save" sound effect played and the screen flashed white a few times, but not as intense as to give players a seizure. Upon the last flash, the good old music played in the main room of the trial site played, but it was slightly distorted, lower in pitch and kept speeding up and slowing down, as if someone had tampered with it rather roughly. I was getting very terrified at this point. Mimikyu randomly flickered around the room, but I couldn't get close because it was only for a split second it would appear. I really wanted to get out, because this game was driving me to the point of insanity. Again, I tried to leave.

"Mimikyu...Mimikyu wants to be friends with you..."

That was it. I restarted again and hope it would work. My girlfriend always told me, "Third time's the charm" and I relied on this when I loaded up the save file. Mimikyu's curse appeared again, and this time I knew I was trapped, and I finally understood why the previous owner had quit on the same location - the game I was playing had been affected by the curse of Mimikyu. Knowing my game was cursed, this was it. I shut off the game, yanked the cartridge out of the slot, pulled out my game box for Moon, carefully wedged it into there and showed myself off back to GAME. While there, I forked over the box and got my money back. Never again would I want to touch a Pokemon game other than to experience horrors such as this. My love for Mimikyu had been tainted, and I full-well knew I did the wrong thing picking up a second-hand game rather than just wait to amass enough money to get an actual new copy.

[Marina]

Pokemon Sun and Moon are the two newest entries into the Pokemon franchise, introducing the seventh generation. It involves you and your Pokemon as you explore the Alola region, completing island trials (in place of gyms) and questing to become the very best

Expositional yet pointless dialogue.

even though we've done it before a hundred times before

Two times "before", great proof-reading!

Unfortunately, one event has made me reconsider this decision, or maybe turn me off Pokemon completely, despite me being the lifelong megafan that I am.

Unfortunately

Two consecutive sentences starting with "Unfortunately". Did you test this level at all before uploading?

when I was given some pocket money from my girlfriend as a Christmas present

→pocket money
→girlfriend
→Christmas



Why didn't she just buy ya the game?

I just wanted to get the trial over with, considering I nearly lost to Lurantis and I didn't want it to happen again.

Regardless of how fast you try to get the trial over with, there is still a possibility of losing to the Totem Pokémon, so those two statements share no correlation.
Even more so, if you try to rush it, your chances of losing are probably even higher so you're just outright contradicting yourself.

I thought to myself "could this be...could this actually be...MIMIKYU?!"

Considering the entire trial was building up to the player meeting "Pikachu"/Mimikyu, I'd say the chances are pretty high of it being a Grovyle.

I snapped a picture of it, and it was at this point where it started flashing between it and Pikachu

You managed to use "it" four times only halfway through the sentence. That's probably a record or something.

I couldn't understand what was going on. Surely I should be battling Mimikyu as a totem, right? This isn't how things are supposed to play out.

Good observation. And obviously the first conclusion we draw from this is that the game is haunted and not that this is just Nintendo throwing a curveball to be more entertaining? (Isn't throwing curveballs actually their thing with Pokémon games nowadays?)

I closed the message box with A

Thank you for letting us know you didn't close it with B. "I clicked away the message box" probably would've sufficed.

At this point, I couldn't help but gape in disbelief. I was thinking to myself, this is what happens if I wait too long to pick up Pokemon games. I should have just pleaded with my mother for pocket money rather than wait.

Again, how do you know it's not the intended way the game is supposed to play out? If I didn't know anything about this trial I would probably assume you're struggling with solving a puzzle.

Strangely enough, he did not know. By this point, he was climbing Mount Lanakila, Solgaleo in tow. All thoughts of doing the island trials were now a figment of his past memory;

Again, contradiction: "Strangely enough, he did not know", then you go on to explain why he doesn't know.

his main focus at this point was to get to the Pokemon League and beat the Elite Four and whoever the champion was, no matter how difficult.

I guess it's nice that you try to give us a glance into the brother's mind, but it completely distracts from the main focus of the story and relieves any previously built-up tension.

but this time the game hung on the black screen for what seemed like a minute.

Yah, did you not hear? Sun/Moon have framerate issues sometimes when you're not playing on a New 3DS.

trying to contemplate the meaning of my life and why I had to get into this ruckus

Comical commentary by the narrator usually doesn't help a situation that's supposed to be scary. You sure you're writing a creepypasta and not just the formerly suggested gone-wrong attempt at solving a trial puzzle?

and the screen flashed white a few times, but not as intense as to give players a seizure.

Again, thank you for pointing out the arbitrary. Considering the small screensize of the 3DS and Nintendo probably being especially wary of seizure-inducing flashing in their media ever since Electric Soldier Porygon back in 1997, the fact that this instance of flashing light is not causing seizure is shocking, to say the least.

My girlfriend always told me, "Third time's the charm" and I relied on this when I loaded up the save file.

Again, distracting from the main focus, completely ruining any tension that has previously been established.

and this time I knew I was trapped, and I finally understood why the previous owner had quit on the same location - the game I was playing had been affected by the curse of Mimikyu. Knowing my game was cursed, this was it.

OR! HE TOO! WAS TOO STUPID! TO SAVE THE PUZZLE!
There has literally been no indicator in this story so far suggesting that this game is actually cursed.

Never again would I want to touch a Pokemon game other than to experience horrors such as this.

Salty much?

[krakin]

Nice review Aristocrat
i still like this is that bad

[Marina]

Nice review Aristocrat
i still like this is that bad

Of course it's not bad that you like it. I was merely pointing out things that seemed off to me while reading and could be done better for his writing to appeal to even more people. I'm very well aware that this is his first attempt, I just didn't bother to go easy on him :)

[FireyPaperMario]

Sorry Linik, but this is worst than SMBX: Civil War imo.

[loop13]

I have read shittier creepypastas. Do I sound weird if I said I like this? Because I do.

[HeroLinik]

I have read shittier creepypastas. Do I sound weird if I said I like this? Because I do.

Well to be honest, I was writing this very late at night and I really needed to get some sleep, so some parts do sound a bit rushed.

[krakin]

I have read shittier creepypastas. Do I sound weird if I said I like this? Because I do.

Well to be honest, I was writing this very late at night and I really needed to get some sleep, so some parts do sound a bit rushed.

I still found this to be better than some other creepypastas I've read, more specifically ones that were made by 12 year olds.

[CD20Superness]

Ok

[Kixubug]

This looks creepy to me...