Hawkeye City (10/18/17- Sneak Peek for "Hawk Runner"!)

[Hawkeyeone]

Hawkeye City is now out of hiatus! I've decided to also close out the KTB Song Arc with this episode, My Name is Knux. The next episodes to come will be one-offs for a while until I find it fit to release a new story arc again. This will be good for the comic as I can finally explore the story and comedic possibilities in single story episodes.
Enjoy!

[loop13]

It's possible this information could be purchased from marketing firms
that track PC game sales. A company called PC Data used to track this
information, but their Web site currently redirects you to a different
source:

what the fuck

[Thehelmetguy1]

It's possible this information could be purchased from marketing firms
that track PC game sales. A company called PC Data used to track this
information, but their Web site currently redirects you to a different
source:

Been a while since the last spam account

[Hawkeyeone]

It's possible this information could be purchased from marketing firms
that track PC game sales. A company called PC Data used to track this
information, but their Web site currently redirects you to a different
source:

Been a while since the last spam account

Whatevs, just report and move on.

(by the way, new episode coming tonight)

EDIT: Sorry. Make that around 12:00 AM Central

[Oshi]

It's possible this information could be purchased from marketing firms
that track PC game sales. A company called PC Data used to track this
information, but their Web site currently redirects you to a different
source:

It's another spam account sound the alarm

[Julia Pseudo]

In the future please report spam accounts instead of replying to them. Thanks.

[Hawkeyeone]

If you have any feedback, by the way, feel free to leave it! I appreciate all of the comments and constructive criticism you guys post on the thread, and I sincerely thank you for showing your support!

[Thehelmetguy1]

Pretty nice, looking forward to the next one.

[Panda]

I thought I would give a visit to this thread as you were asking for feedback so I was going to see if you took any of mine on board from over 3 years ago. In terms of feedback (as I have already told you before) your textboxes are super difficult to read and tend to clutter the images. Even this was more visually appealing in terms of structure. Space out each panel and leave more room for yourself (or make different panel sizes so you're not confined to a tiny square, like this.



In addition, I can clearly see that you draw each line very slowly. In turn, this makes it look very rough and unpleasant. Try quicker strokes.



The colours are all also super saturated which almost makes it difficult to look at. Along with the text, it looks like a big jumble of colours and squiggles. Try making the background colours less overpowering.
I almost don't want to bring TAOK into this but as you can see in this image, the background colours are muted and have very little visual information so that you can focus on the characters on the foreground. Even Adam Ellis uses very soft colours in the backgrounds of his terrible comics...

If you really need a colourful comic, then at least separate the character from the background. I copied one of the panels in about 4 minutes and tried to stick to the colours as much as possible.

As you can see i drew a very light border around the character to separate it from the dark background. It's not great, and I definitely think you need more space to work with, but it's just an idea.

I think your main issue is the use of space, though. Please make your images bigger and leave more room for text bubbles which don't take up half of each panel. Again with Adam Ellis, he manages to make the text bubbles seem uninvasive even in text-heavy comics.

Also, what's the joke in this one? Pickles? From what I understand, the white guy draws a pickle background (which has no repercussions, it's just a joke thrown in there) and then the real issue is Kley's drawing...?
I can't teach comedy I'm afraid, but try to keep your comic focused.

TL;DR, my main feedback points are:
- Space out your panels more if you're going to have text-heavy, colourful images.
- If you don't want to do that, at least make your background colours less overpowering.
- Plan your space more effectively. You are not confined to a 200x200 panel.
- Less important, but try drawing in fast brush strokes rather than slowly drawing an entire image.

That's all the feedback I can offer. Please do not ignore it. I am not attacking you.

[Kley]

Latest issue was cute, and a bit humorous actually. Nicely done meming the community. I would also take Panda's criticize into consideration!

[Knux]

TAOK already did it.

[Hawkeyeone]

Thanks, Panda! I appreciate you for typing out everything. To start;

I thought I would give a visit to this thread as you were asking for feedback so I was going to see if you took any of mine on board from over 3 years ago. In terms of feedback (as I have already told you before) your textboxes are super difficult to read and tend to clutter the images. Even this was more visually appealing in terms of structure. Space out each panel and leave more room for yourself (or make different panel sizes so you're not confined to a tiny square, like this.

This is a big one. Honestly, now that I've noticed this I'm very glad you pointed it out, as I'd love to play with this a bit more... Spacing. I think the spacing in the episodes... Is functional. Though, I think that it's overdue for a rehaul and I'm happy you pointed it out. These "line boxes" were mostly a leftover from the TIAOH days. Until the 8th season or so, every TIAOH episode was drawn in a 1000x1000 square file. My intention with this was to make it effecient to draw and still be visually functional. I will admit, however, many of the steps I take in these comics have to do with minimizing production time, as I'm the only one working on these. I would only try the standard panel-on-white style for other types of comics I would make(such as DOTM right there, which by the way I don't look back on very fondly as it was rushed and had to do with a dumb, pointless idea I had which I don't think anyone found very funny. Sorry about that, everybody). I thank you for pointing that out though.

In addition, I can clearly see that you draw each line very slowly. In turn, this makes it look very rough and unpleasant. Try quicker strokes.

I'm actually a little confused on this one. I believe you're talking about the character's heads, as any other circular objects in the comics aren't as prominent. To be honest, however, the character's heads are generally of the same physical structure as normal human heads, occasionally portrayed as being circular in certain situations where their bodies are stylistically simplified. I also spend a lot of time on the detail of the characters so they don't look rushed. Feel free to explain on this a little more if you want, but I guess I'll still keep it in mind anyway.

The colours are all also super saturated which almost makes it difficult to look at. Along with the text, it looks like a big jumble of colours and squiggles. Try making the background colours less overpowering.
I almost don't want to bring TAOK into this but as you can see in this image, the background colours are muted and have very little visual information so that you can focus on the characters on the foreground. Even Adam Ellis uses very soft colours in the backgrounds of his terrible comics...

If you really need a colourful comic, then at least separate the character from the background. I copied one of the panels in about 4 minutes and tried to stick to the colours as much as possible.

As you can see i drew a very light border around the character to separate it from the dark background. It's not great, and I definitely think you need more space to work with, but it's just an idea.

I think your main issue is the use of space, though. Please make your images bigger and leave more room for text bubbles which don't take up half of each panel. Again with Adam Ellis, he manages to make the text bubbles seem uninvasive even in text-heavy comics.

I understand what you mean here. It wasn't really until basically, you posted this, but... Here's the thing. On my PC, none of these colors look too saturated. They look a little saturated, but everything's good for the most part. However, when I was reading the topic on my phone, I saw the comic, and... The contrast is high. And high to the point where it is hard to distinguish anyone from the background, so sorry... I'll keep that in mind and try to experiment with it soon. The text bubbles too are something that I'll retool for sure, though... They have caused problems for me in the past when combined with the panel borders, in fact this panel from My Name is Knux was something that I really didn't like drawing:

But yeah, I'll remove the black outline and then tool around with it a little more. I'll look into the character outlines too, but for now, I'm unsure of how I'll execute that and again, I have to try and not make any of these too time consuming to tackle in every single episode. I don't think that will be the case, but oh well, we'll get there when we get there.

Also, what's the joke in this one? Pickles? From what I understand, the white guy draws a pickle background (which has no repercussions, it's just a joke thrown in there) and then the real issue is Kley's drawing...?
I can't teach comedy I'm afraid, but try to keep your comic focused.

Well, there's not really "a" joke here. Hawkeye City isn't like a daily newspaper comic that usually operates at a simple level of single jokes. TIAOH, in its early days, used to, but as time went on I decided I wanted to do better things with it. Imagine Hawkeye City, is, for the most part, a TV show in comic form. At least, that's how I envision it.

So really, there's not much of a joke-based structure here. There's an actual, full plot. Let's break it down;
Background: Panels 1-2. Hawkeyeone and Kley are making their way to the meeting.
Rising Action: Panels 3-22. Hawkeyeone accidentally makes a background nothing like the one Valtteri wanted. Originally confident, he becomes more anxious as time goes on and generally feels down about his misfortune, as Valtteri himself ends up pointing it out with disappointment. Kley ended up making one that he liked the most and pays him.
Conflict: Panels 23-24. Valtteri notices a 1x1 pixel in Kley's drawing and is upset.
Falling Action: Panels 25-28. Hawkeyeone realizes that there's a simple way to fix this, grabs a graphics tool and corrects it.
Resolution: Panels 29-32. With the pixel corrected, Valtteri is happy, Hawkeye is glad he could help, and Kley feels good for Hawk. The comic is wrapped up by a bad pun calling back to the original rising action setup and acts as a subtle, but good demonstration of their personalities: Hawk feels lighthearted and enthusiastic about it, whereas Valtteri seems more confused.

If you were to break this episode down even more in a personality sense, there's even more that can be seen, particularly with Hawk and Kley's friendship: Look at how Kley's face in Panel 30 mirrors Hawk's face in Panel 18, or the way they look at each other throughout the meeting, stuff like that.

So... Yeah, most of what you suggested I will take into account and provide a sneak peek for the next episode when I can get to the drawing board and fit everything in. If you have any questions about what I said, then feel free to ask... Thank you, Panda!

That's all the feedback I can offer. Please do not ignore it. I am not attacking you.

Don't worry, I see what you mean

[Kley]

You should make a very meta episode about panda criticizing your comic. If done well, the irony would be that Even though she is criticizing your comic, The episode would actually be great despite her doing so! Haha

I actually have a perfect vision on how the episode would go. It would start off normal in the style and quirkiness that you already do, and then panda comes in and everything slowly starts changing and adjusting to her criticisms

[Snessy the duck]

You should make a very meta episode about panda criticizing your comic. If done well, the irony would be that Even though she is criticizing your comic, The episode would actually be great despite her doing so! Haha

I actually have a perfect vision on how the episode would go. It would start off normal in the style and quirkiness that you already do, and then panda comes in and everything slowly starts changing and adjusting to her criticisms

That's honestly pretty damn Kleyver (Haha get it?)! I really hope this is gonna become an actual episode.

[FireyPaperMario]

Dude, why are you changing the topic?

[xDestroy]

My guess is that you're looking for an for PC Games.
Unfortunately this data wasn't very well kept, and there were hundreds
of small business game companies that only released a couple thousand
copies of a particular game, and then were never seen or heard from
again

My guess is that your a robot

[Julia Pseudo]

Please don't reply to spam bots y'all, just report them and move on.

[Hawkeyeone]

Hey everyone!

Sorry I haven't commented in a while. I'm going to bed soon, but anyways... Kley and Snessy, I really that concept for an episode! I'm going to take it into consideration, and if I do make it I would love to hear if you guys have any other ideas(I'd also credit you guys too). But first, I want to experiment a little more with modifying the style a bit.

Here's a sneak peek for a new episode... It's called Hawk Runner! (like Blade Runner, except it's just a Hawkeye City episode that bears a resemblance to it, hehe)
I tried adding more means of shading to the panels and finally did away with the old picture border style... Now it's a more conventional one that most comics have. Polished it much more too.

But anyway, I'd like you guys to read it... This is just a sneak peek after all, not the full episode. But I'd be excited to be able to hear what you guys think.

Enjoy!

Hawk Runner Sneak Peek: show

[FireyPaperMario]

OMG! Joey is going Paper Mario on our asses

[Kley]

Wow! This might be pretty interesting. 4th panel "No one who isn't but... Me." is really awkward sounding. How about "Everyone is a robot, except... me." Sounds much better and easier to understand.

Nice borders and colors it really looks like you put some extra effort to really make this legible!