Funny Jokes

Ecruteak · Postby **Ecruteak** » Mon May 16, 2016 2:28 am

I gave my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. He said it was the most violent book he'd ever read.

"I'm sorry" and "my bad" mean the same thing.
Unless you're at a funeral.

zlaker · Postby **zlaker** » Mon May 16, 2016 7:09 am

ProngoKingdom wrote:What does a sister have that a brother doesn't?

A brother.

>implying a family of two boys aren't brothers

ProngoKingdom · Postby **ProngoKingdom** » Mon May 16, 2016 7:14 am

MECHDRAGON777 wrote:

zlakergirl357 wrote:

I should've been more specific then. Just forget it.

Mable · Postby **Mable** » Mon May 16, 2016 7:16 am

Zeldamaster12 wrote:Enough offensive jokes, jeez lol

Why not delete them? I wouldn't bother if this topic is locked anyway soon

Kitti and Minni · Postby **Kitti and Minni** » Mon May 16, 2016 6:34 pm

oh so its still alive, good i would hate to be in a grave yard.

What does a cell say when its relative steps on its toe? OW MY TOE SIS!!!!

baduntss. Its like my outerspace plant joke, a singulariTREE

PixelPest · Postby **PixelPest** » Mon May 16, 2016 8:59 pm

Kitti and Minni wrote:oh so its still alive, good i would hate to be in a grave yard.

What does a cell say when its relative steps on its toe? OW MY TOE SIS!!!!

baduntss. Its like my outerspace plant joke, a singulariTREE

I feel really bad for you if you think these are funny

MECHDRAGON777 · Postby **MECHDRAGON777** » Mon May 16, 2016 9:34 pm

What: always runs, but never walks; has a bed, but never sleeps; has a mouth, but never speaks?

Imaynotbehere4long · Postby **Imaynotbehere4long** » Mon May 16, 2016 10:47 pm

MECHDRAGON777 wrote:What: always runs, but never walks; has a bed, but never sleeps; has a mouth, but never speaks?

A river. Didn't even have to look that one up. (also this thread is for jokes, not riddles)

MECHDRAGON777 · Postby **MECHDRAGON777** » Mon May 16, 2016 11:09 pm

Imaynotbehere4long wrote:
MECHDRAGON777 wrote:What: always runs, but never walks; has a bed, but never sleeps; has a mouth, but never speaks?
A river. Didn't even have to look that one up. (also this thread is for jokes, not riddles)

That was said before the riddles thread was made!

Kitti and Minni · Postby **Kitti and Minni** » Tue May 17, 2016 9:49 am

PixelPest wrote:
Kitti and Minni wrote:oh so its still alive, good i would hate to be in a grave yard.

What does a cell say when its relative steps on its toe? OW MY TOE SIS!!!!

baduntss. Its like my outerspace plant joke, a singulariTREE
I feel really bad for you if you think these are funny

I would feel bad, if I wasn't such a fan of sans the skelepun. Its quite a GRAVE situation for your idol to be dead, but it tickles my funny bone to by abnormal

To whoever doesnt like my jokes, I hope you experience an

Spoiler: show

Today

Zeldamaster12 · Postby **Zeldamaster12** » Tue May 17, 2016 10:53 am

I'm cringing.

Zipper · Postby **Zipper** » Tue May 17, 2016 11:32 am

the funniest joke here is this entire thread's existence

seriously you guys

TLtimelord · Postby **TLtimelord** » Tue May 17, 2016 1:12 pm

What donyou call a good looking girl at Duke university? A visitor.

What does a dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac do? Stay up all night wondering if there is a Dog.

ProngoKingdom · Postby **ProngoKingdom** » Wed May 18, 2016 12:57 pm

Friends Dan the Dunce and Harold the Hungry both strolled down the street together.

Harold's stomach rumbles, and he then notices Dan holding a bag of candy bars.

"Um, Dan, we're friends right?" Harold asked him.

"Well uh, sure." he replied. "Why do ya ask?"

"I was wondering if I could have a candy bar..." Harold said as nicely as he could.

"Hmm." Dan thought to himself. "How about... if you can guess how many candy bars are in this bag, I'll give them both to you."

Alagirez · Postby **Alagirez** » Thu May 19, 2016 1:14 am

Zipper wrote:the funniest joke here is this entire thread's existence

seriously you guys

100% accurate

TLtimelord · Postby **TLtimelord** » Thu May 19, 2016 11:37 pm

Here's a joke in Spanish.

-Sabe íngles?
-Sí
-Como se dice "un zapato" en íngles?
-A Shoe
-Salud
-Gracias

Metroidologist X7 · Postby **Metroidologist X7** » Sat May 21, 2016 1:02 pm

I have another joke in Spanish:

-¿Nivel de inglés?
-Alto.
-Traduzca “Elija un zapato”.
-Pick a shoe.
-Ahora úselo en una frase.
-¡Pick-a-shoe, impactrueno!

mechamind · Postby **mechamind** » Sat May 21, 2016 1:15 pm

Coincidentally, I'm planning to get a new pair of shoes today.

(Sorry, but if Shrek spilled over into the political thread, I'm bringing some serious discussion here.)

MistakesWereMade · Postby **MistakesWereMade** » Mon May 23, 2016 11:31 pm

mechamind wrote:Coincidentally, I'm planning to get a new pair of shoes today.

(Sorry, but if Shrek spilled over into the political thread, I'm bringing some serious discussion here.)

>getting shoes
>serious

im sure this is as serious as the relevance of sjws in the world

mechamind · Postby **mechamind** » Tue May 24, 2016 12:30 am

Except that guys don't buy shoes because they want to. They do it because they're absolutely necessary for what's coming up (or if their old ones finally bite the dust).

Now shoe, fly!