Funny Jokes Topic

Enderfan · Postby **Enderfan** » Wed Jan 16, 2019 6:38 am

Gee, you guys should be punished for telling such bad puns!
Ugh, mine aren't any better...

FireyPaperMario · Postby **FireyPaperMario** » Mon Jan 21, 2019 6:58 am

About 2 or 3 years ago on my sister's birthday, I post a meme on social media and tagged my older sister in it.

The meme has Shao Khan (from Mortal Kombat) and says: "I Shao Khan believe it's your birthday!"

And yes, she laughs!

Nazi Zombie · Postby **Nazi Zombie** » Mon Jan 21, 2019 9:30 am

I will tell you a joke

Life

ThePieSkyHigh · Postby **ThePieSkyHigh** » Mon Jan 21, 2019 11:11 am

Person 1: I'd never take a bullet for you.

Person 2: Your so greedy.

Person 1: Because if I had time to jump and take it, you had time to move.

FireyPaperMario · Postby **FireyPaperMario** » Tue Jan 22, 2019 9:29 am

Here's a funny joke I told to the police:

"Hey officer, I been drinking and playing Mario Kart! Gimme the $17,000+ fine plz"

TheNightingale · Postby **TheNightingale** » Tue Jan 22, 2019 10:01 am

Why did the creator of stone beds died? Because of a hit with a pillow.

ThePieSkyHigh · Postby **ThePieSkyHigh** » Fri Jan 25, 2019 10:36 pm

In what way did the fire harm the candle?

He wax it

TheNightingale · Postby **TheNightingale** » Thu Jan 31, 2019 7:12 am

- Daughter, why did you break the doll's hand?
- Because it's my doll, not your doll, and I do what I want with it.

One day later:
Daughter, why did you break the other doll's hand
Because it's my doll, not your doll, and I do what I want with it.

One day later:
Daughter, why did you break the other doll's hand?
...

Wait, why the doll had more than two hands? BECAUSE IT'S MY JOKE, NOT YOUR JOKE, AND I DO WHAT I WANT WITH IT.

666 posts lol

LGLMAKING · Postby **LGLMAKING** » Thu Jan 31, 2019 11:53 am

What do Germans eat on Thursdays?
Döner Kebab!

Hahaha ha.

Spoiler: show

Cedur · Postby **Cedur** » Thu Jan 31, 2019 12:28 pm

not even remotely a proper pun.

FireyPaperMario · Postby **FireyPaperMario** » Thu Jan 31, 2019 3:18 pm

LGLMAKING wrote: What do Germans eat on Thursdays?
Döner Kebab!

Hahaha ha.
Spoiler: show
the German word for Thursday is Donnerstag.

Um... I don't get it...

Cedur · Postby **Cedur** » Thu Jan 31, 2019 3:19 pm

as I already say there's not really anything to get. The pun doesn't work because of the umlaut

plus may I also say it's the very cheap opposite of humour

FireyPaperMario · Postby **FireyPaperMario** » Thu Jan 31, 2019 3:21 pm

Cedur wrote: ↑
Thu Jan 31, 2019 3:19 pm
plus may I also say it's the very cheap opposite of humour

I can tell. Heck, I heard better jokes and puns from sitcoms I even don't liked*

*Example: Seinfeld.

ThePieSkyHigh · Postby **ThePieSkyHigh** » Fri Feb 01, 2019 4:50 pm

Whats the saddest thing I'll ever eat?

a blue berry.

Cedur · Postby **Cedur** » Sat Feb 02, 2019 6:32 am

first good joke in this thread

reminds me of

"what is white and stands behind a tree?"

Spoiler: show

FireyPaperMario · Postby **FireyPaperMario** » Fri Feb 08, 2019 6:06 am

Back when I was young (in Middle School... I think), I called the CVS Pharmacy the "Canadian Violent Store".

TheNightingale · Postby **TheNightingale** » Fri Feb 08, 2019 7:42 am

If you know Spanish language then you can understand this joke (I think it has no sense in another language):

Cual es el colmo de un albañil? Llamarse "Armando Paredes"

Cedur · Postby **Cedur** » Fri Feb 08, 2019 8:07 am

you could at least explain the pun if there is one, i.e. what words resemble eachother and what are their meanings

ThePieSkyHigh · Postby **ThePieSkyHigh** » Sat Feb 09, 2019 12:27 pm

He said if you understand Spanish you'd know, and explaining jokes makes it seem like it's a math book

TheNightingale · Postby **TheNightingale** » Sat Feb 09, 2019 12:28 pm

ThePieSkyHigh wrote: ↑
Sat Feb 09, 2019 12:27 pm
He said if you understand Spanish you'd know, and explaining jokes makes it seem like it's a math book

Of course