Health (Mental and Physical)

[cato]

everyone has depression, not just you. It probably came from different directions. Like studies, finals, having a poor interpersonal relationship with others, lacking progress in SMBX levels, how I treat myself having such high expectations, a disappointment to the society, the knowledge on every little thing around the world etc.
But slowly, you will be relying on the depression to make yourself a personality. The more you are depressed, the more artistic/emotional you get. It all comes to embracing your depression and accept the existence of your fear. Like me, I always enjoy listening to music and play games that I like when I feel down on myself.
Maybe you just ain't feeling in that way. You think that people around you don't care about you. Maybe true, I would prefer me dying over someone close to me dying. If they don't care, speak out to them. Make them know that you are emotionally unstable, to get some support from your bubbies.
Or maybe go sleeping. Give yourself some rest, and as long as possible, don't wake up from the phantasmagoria that you desired to create.

[krakin]

Long story short:

deep inhale: show

Yeah so, I got my Switch taken away by my oldest sister because my other sister broke the tv in our bedroom and shorted it out trying to fix it with a screwdriver, and topping it off with a tv downstairs that suddenly started flickering. The thing that gets me is that the tv in the bedroom was almost 10 years old, so it was bound to stop working, and we did absolutely nothing to the flatscreen downstairs, it started flashing on its own. I don't know when I'll get my Switch back, but I'm very pissed and upset, my sister had sent me a text a few days ago saying that our older sister took our Switches and not only that but she was going to kick us out (which hasn't happened yet fortunately, hopefully she'll forget). She already knew about the tv downstairs, and swore up and down we did something to it, and also told us we need to pay for a replacement. Right now, we have our mom's tv in our room replacing the old tv, but I'm just really mad that I can't play my Switch anymore, I got my grades up in school so I could get one, only to have it taken away a few months later, some shit . The day that I got the text, I came home and saw for myself that both of our games were gone, most of my pent up anger spilled over and I started slamming doors and throwing some things around, while I was making something to eat for lunch, my oldest sister came downstairs and asked what we were doing, and then asked me if I was done with my homework, which I ignored her for a few moments, and then said yes, and she mumbled something under her breath as she walked back upstairs to her room and slammed the door, which I was right behind her and slammed the bathroom door as I walked by, she came back out of her room and asked what the noise was, which I did say anything because reasons. I was extremely mad and had never been more angered in my entire life over anything like this, I've been banned from playing games before, but I've never reacted in this sort of way ever, I'm just afraid that my sisters' toxic attitudes are finally catching on, which is something I don't want to happen, if you my oldest sister you'd say she's fake as fuck too

[krakin]

I took the time to look back at my older posts on here, and there was a bit of a change in my mood and attitude, somewhere around April 2017 I was kind of playfully sarcastic but then later after that, July to be specific, it started becoming full-blown cynical and passive-aggressive. Still working on my attitude, it's sort of hard to not lash out at criticism and stupidity when you've constantly been criticized for your own stupidity irl and online, looking back at 2017, it was probably my worst year, one insensitive post I made upset some people (not naming anyone), and then a couple people noted my wording, and then I snapped at them for no reason, this wasn't the only time though, although the other times I had apologized for (if I haven't feel free to remind me to). Everything went downhill from there, eventually I stepped back for a little bit after august and came back in January, the forums aren't the only place I've had issues with my anger and attitude, and I've also had problems irl, it's an ongoing issue that I can't seem to mitigate, the fact that my sisters point out that I have issues (ex: rolling eyes, slamming stuff) doesn't help either, since it appears to make my problem even worse, I used to be a very nice and calm person, but I don't know what changed, maybe moving schools, adolescence, passing of a family member, etc., all I do know is that I can't ignore it anymore

oh boy: show

2017: not putting other quote here for obvious reasons

Is that really your fucking problem? Why are we still talking about my post? You have no reason to judge how I say my shit and it should just stop

Welp here's another one that I just made

I was registered in a Mafia game I didn't even want to participate in. What was I thinking?!

guess you didn't read the mafia forum rules all the way through

there's more rude posts like this, and tbh i'm not very fond of them, also got a couple of pms from staff about my behavior subsequent to this

well you're contacting an administrator, maybe that'll say something

2018:

When did you start getting every star coin? This is hard to believe, but I started a few years ago and only finished recently.

2019:

The Balls of Glass doesn't sound quite as good as The Crystal Orbs. It doesn't roll off the tongue.

[Cedur]

I remember most: "dunno how the fuck you're gonna make all these levels" and it was right after all

[Locus]

Oh well. My emotions shift rapidly, going from happy to sad to angry...It's difficult for me to just get through it. Incapable of understanding the world around me and constantly ruminating definitely messes with one's motivation and sense of self worth. My decline in interest to make new friends is also something I have to work on.

[krakin]

I remember most: "dunno how the fuck you're gonna make all these levels" and it was right after all

I assume you're talking about me? Lol, that's probably the most unconstructive criticism I've ever given

[Cedur]

I remember most: "dunno how the fuck you're gonna make all these levels" and it was right after all

I assume you're talking about me? Lol, that's probably the most unconstructive criticism I've ever given

yeah but it was in that one project thread with 650 stars or smth and ofc nothing came from it in the end

[krakin]

I remember most: "dunno how the fuck you're gonna make all these levels" and it was right after all

I assume you're talking about me? Lol, that's probably the most unconstructive criticism I've ever given

yeah but it was in that one project thread with 650 stars or smth and ofc nothing came from it in the end

I don't really remember saying that, do you have a link?

[Cedur]

oh wait, it was not the 650 stars one, it was the attempt of TheKidCodee to merge all kind of Mario games remakes into one episode

Source

[krakin]

I remember that now, caught me off guard for a moment when I saw it again, like that's actually me making those posts

[Locus]

Generally pretty exhausted and my mental state has not been very bright as of late. I feel pretty much as if I'm through with it all and want to just stop with everything. The hopeless feeling is pretty overwhelming and it's hard to get out of that line of thinking. I mostly try to distract myself with walks outside, talking to family and friends and exercising my hobbies. Nothing really seems to make me feel it's more worth it though.

[Jumper]

Well, this is probably one of the hardest posts I've had to make so far.

I'll be brief; I'm a Diabetic (Type 1), Autistic guy with Depression, (Early Onset) Osteoporosis, ADHD, and Aspergers.
I've not felt the same since high school, since its when most of the stuff has happened.

I have broken a bone towards the end of January 2020, and it took me about a month to be able to walk again..

I'm also dealing with depression, and have been taking anti-depressants daily.

---

Small story from a few years ago: show

For the longest time, I've been reluctant on saying anything related to my Diabetes, as I was afraid of the reactions.
But I think I'm ready; one day, I had to stay home from school with my mom, and I felt my organs shutting down. I have said that day, "Mom, I'm dying," and she immediately got Dad to pick us up and head to the ER. I kind of find it ironic, since I was suicidal. To this day, I don't fully understand why I chose to live, but now I don't regret it..

For the most part I have been doing okay mentally, but I still get depressing thoughts (to the point where I have an existential crisis), and I think I have PTSD from the fall, as I find myself shaking myself awake if I fell in a dream, and that I avoid the area where I fell.

[Locus]

Admittedly I'm just getting more suicidal with the day. So it's likely that I'm going to consult a psychiatrist so that I can get the help I need. I've been really lonely and talking to people in public doesn't seem to help as it feels like I'm wearing a mask around everyone else. I just want it to stop. I seem to feel tired endlessly and I just want to talk with someone.

[krakin]

I would like to jump on the depression train as well. I kinda have trouble recognizing and managing my emotions, and they feel as if they're constantly changing as if they were on some sort of sliding scale, evident by the "diagnosis" received during a visit to a local clinician. I got diagnosed with "adjustment disorder w/anxiety" by the urgent care clinician, and also "disruptive mood dysregulation" by my trade school's on site doctor. They set me up with an appointment to see a specialist who diagnoses and treats Autism, since it was that and ADHD that I was hoping I could've gotten diagnosed with in the first place. I did more than months worth of research and presented the clinician with a list of symptoms and experiences, and she said that they sounded spot on with what I believed was autism and adhd, but that she was specialized to diagnose for those. I've been afraid to admit it, but I think I'm depressed too, not going to share why I think so for obvious reasons. I'm a little disappointed with the initial diagnoses I have currently, because it's easy to confuse autism, adhd, or even depression for that matter with those, or even for them to be co-morbid with autism. I will say I've had issues with gauging my emotions,

tw: show

as was proven last Friday when I had a meltdown and went into hyperventilation mode when a teacher I was with kept trying to make me talk, which if you're nonverbal like me, is next to impossible, not to mention I can't exactly put into words verbally what I want or need. I had hid in the bathroom more than a couple times to avoid being in said teacher's classroom, and that prompted the wellness staff to send me off center and get treatment and not let me return until my condition has improved. I've noticed I also have recurring thoughts of s****de, feelings of helplessness, and feeling like life is pointless.

I get migraines often because I try to suppress and hide my stimming and social awkwardness by masking, and I always feel drained towards the end of the day, even if it seems like I've done almost nothing, and like staying in my dorm room by myself, and hate having roommates. Getting put on some sort of meds and finding alternate methods of communication would probably be best for me.

Admittedly I'm just getting more suicidal with the day. So it's likely that I'm going to consult a psychiatrist so that I can get the help I need. I've been really lonely and talking to people in public doesn't seem to help as it feels like I'm wearing a mask around everyone else. I just want it to stop. I seem to feel tired endlessly and I just want to talk with someone.

That sucks, sorry for lack of better phrasing, but if you need someone to relate to or just to vent your frustrations to, I'm down to be that someone

[Luna]

To be perfectly honest, this is far from the first time I have tried bundling my thoughts together in some way. Wether that was just for myself or when I was actually trying to ask people for their help, I never really got done with it because I either felt like it wasn't really helping me or because I felt like I was making other people feel uncomfortable. Because of this, I guess it is fair to add a "proceed with caution" here.

Spoiler: show

What is going on is that I am honestly not quite sure about my purpose in the bigger picture of the world.
I feel like I am a burden to pretty much anyone around me and I have felt that way for several months, possibly even years by now.
I have had a lot of trouble getting closer to people to the point where I am sometimes even described as anti-social - however, I feel like it is often best for me to stay away from others to not cause them more trouble than I have already done. Even back in primary school, I somehow managed to upset my entire class through my tries to socialise with them. However, unlike many others, they have at least been very direct about how I was causing trouble for them. In contrast, I have had multiple occasions where I thought I was finally getting somewhat close to people just to get told I had been annoying to them all the time. I have tried so much, from just trying to be myself to trying to adapt to others to a certain extend, but I never really managed to get past the core problem: Me. No matter how hard I tried, I often ran into trouble with it. I have had a complete fallout with a community I used to be part of because of my tries to get to people. And even now, in the SMBX community, there are times where I just feel like I am being a burden to people, be it by giving pointless and often way too nitpicky "feedback", participating in pointless discussions about the same stupid hot takes of mine, my tries to get some tips from other people from the community, even my way of speaking which I had grown to hide less within certain subsets of the community or - probably especially - my problems identifying very obvious jokes as what they are.
As a result, I often resort to doing doing things like drawing, writing, or just doing things with SMBX, things that I really enjoy doing, I love dreaming up scenarios, but at the same time things that I know are ultimately completely useless since it is not like anyone really gets anything from any of that anyway, especially given the lacking quality of the things I do.

In the end, everything I do is either just a giant waste of time or actively making people around me feel uncomfortable, and this is honestly making me feel really, really bad right now.

To be perfectly honest, I just hope I don't cause anyone trouble with this very thing. If so, please just let me know.

[Andy1q]

I need to lose some weight as well but I don't know how to do it....

[Locus]

I have been struggling to get my life back on track. I have been struggling deeply with the thought of wanting to end my own life so I'm looking for a therapist that'll hopefully help me open up. I haven't felt this miserable in years even though this happened before, as I struggled with suicide at age 13 after non stop bullying and feeling safe nowhere except home. So I'm gonna do what I can to resolve my problems, even if I feel terribly hurt. And I'll likely have to go offline for months to recover because the internet does not help in this kind of mental state.