Character Creation/Approval Thread

Bomber57 · Postby **Bomber57** » Sun Jun 07, 2015 7:06 pm

Oh, looks good. But his age doesn't add up according to his backstory. Was it perhaps a typo?
Couldn't hurt to flesh out personality, but what is more important is what is revealed when you actually play your character.

LemonOtter · Postby **LemonOtter** » Sun Jun 07, 2015 8:00 pm

holy hell i just saw that, well that's pretty embarassing. edited.

Postby **Shadow Yoshi** » Sun Jun 07, 2015 8:29 pm

Varuo (whose name pronunciation/spelling should be worked out so it says and sounds like what you want) is really close. All I would do is develop the personality a bit more and maybe add a little more background info, as well as removing the parts about gender identity (seems like an irrelevant detail) and making sure the age makes sense. Remember, you don't have to put a specific age in years.

LemonOtter · Postby **LemonOtter** » Mon Jun 08, 2015 7:57 am

Joey wrote:Varuo (whose name pronunciation/spelling should be worked out so it says and sounds like what you want) is really close. All I would do is develop the personality a bit more and maybe add a little more background info, as well as removing the parts about gender identity (seems like an irrelevant detail) and making sure the age makes sense. Remember, you don't have to put a specific age in years.

Varuo is actually an Icelandic word just unaccented, so its like that on purpose. I'll work on the other stuff though.

LemonOtter · Postby **LemonOtter** » Mon Jun 08, 2015 8:16 am

Edited!
•Further developed personality
•Added more detail to the story, best you read it from the start again.

Postby **Shadow Yoshi** » Mon Jun 08, 2015 9:54 am

Looks great. Approved!

So, is it pronounced "Var-oy", then?

LemonOtter · Postby **LemonOtter** » Mon Jun 08, 2015 10:58 am

Thanks!

It'd be pronounced "Var-oo" though. Or formally, "Var-o-oo"

Muyoko · Postby **Muyoko** » Mon Jun 08, 2015 9:47 pm

I was hoping on doing a collab fic of some kind and am a bit new to roleplaying but here goes... A simple self-insert.

Name: Muyoko
Gender: Female
Age: 21 (Young)
Species: Beanish

Appearance:
She wears blues and teals like Rosalina but is also one of the few girls to wear pants as her casual wear. She has dark brown hair that is cut short and fair skin, much akin to Mario and Luigi. Her eyes are a brown color, a color that is shared with not a lot of people in the Mario Universe. That's how some would describe her if she was a human. Like a lot of Beanish, she has green skin, but it is obvious that she was not born in the Beanbean Kingdom like many of the others. She is also one of the few to wear glasses, and those glasses are unlike Fawful's coke bottle glasses you are familiar with.

Images can be found on my gallery:
http://www.smbxgame.com/forums/v ... 49&t=10129

Personality:
Muyoko... Can be a mixed bag. She says she's laid back and cool, but she does have a firm grasp on morals, which can make her nervous when dealing with characters like Bowser. She obviously wants to help the Mario Bros., though she also has her own personal attachments to other characters (i.e. Vivian and Prince Peasley) which seem to be the few people to motivate her. She says she is an illustrator, and while it is true, she has so far been only seen playing video games and napping when she isn't working. Muyoko likes Princess Peach yet seems to show no interest in interacting with Princess Daisy, something that has confused Luigi due to Muyoko's tomboyish demeanor.

As for other Beanish? It is obvious that while she is a fan of Peasley seems to take a lot of issue with the politics in the kingdom as opposed to the efforts built by the Mushroom Kingdom. Especially on the education of the guards. She dreads their lack of diligence and focus would lead to Prince Peasley being kidnapped much like Princess Peach. Even so, she has developed a significant interest in Vivian, the Shadow Siren. Also ironic is that Muyoko seems to be lackadaisical in nature and not too bright on some of the issues in the Mushroom Kingdom.

Background:
Muyoko is a Beanish that nobody knows where she came from. Many have been trying to investigate her origins as she has been a strange enigma that showed up in the Mushroom Kingdom. While many see her draw, play video games, eat, and sleep on her leisure time, they decided to investigate and see where she would have come from.

While on their search for such information, she has met the Mario Bros. as well as characters she can only dream of encountering, which included Goombella, Vivian, Prince Peasley, Princess Rosalina, Starlow, Princess Peach, and Toadsworth. While she hasn't encountered Bowser personally, she has known of his exploits and tries to be on her toes for the day she will encounter him capturing Peach.

Apparently her dreams are safest in the palace as lately she has dreamed of monsters she can only say have appeared in Legend of Legaia, a video game only a few people recognize. This video game may be the hint to her origins as not even Mario remembers it. She doesn't know what her dreams mean either, but it seems the people in this world have helped her coax her to sleep in the palace and that's why she believes outside the palace walls, she'd dread to sleep (which explains why she usually takes her naps in the palace of all places.) Many of her dreams have included Fawful a couple times, which may be significant on the search for her origins and her search for home.

Bomber57 · Postby **Bomber57** » Mon Jun 08, 2015 10:27 pm

Hey, looks pretty solid, but unfortunately race (and parts of backstory because of it) is an issue due to reasons previously discussed. Basically, humans are too specific of a race in the Marioverse, only given to main characters or villains.

I think with some reworks this character is well on their way to being accepted.

Muyoko · Postby **Muyoko** » Mon Jun 08, 2015 10:39 pm

Bomber57 wrote:Hey, looks pretty solid, but unfortunately race (and parts of backstory because of it) is an issue due to reasons previously discussed. Basically, humans are too specific of a race in the Marioverse, only given to main characters or villains.

I think with some reworks this character is well on their way to being accepted.

Really? That's interesting...

In that case, I am fine with not roleplaying as of yet; I have to rethink my character as well.
(I actually did not know that, but then again, I see Daisy and Rosalina, and I am pretty sure they aren't either of the above.)

UPDATE: I have decided to add a little more to explain her situation a little more. Sorry for ripping off Pokemon Mystery Dungeon, but I decided to make it a story about a human who has turned into a Beanish (Mario and Luigi RPG race). Her personality is also further developed. Beanish are not exclusive as they have appeared frequently in the RPG be it Fawful or an average Beanish, and the first RPG shows plenty.

EDIT: I hope I didn't kill the thread...

EDIT II: Guys? Did I kill the thread? Aw well.

My characters can now be seen in this gallery: http://www.smbxgame.com/forums/v ... 49&t=10129 For added reference.

PersonNamedUser · Postby **PersonNamedUser** » Sat Jun 13, 2015 1:26 pm

I'm not involved anymore.

Muyoko · Postby **Muyoko** » Tue Jun 16, 2015 12:23 pm

Interesting character. I hope it gets approved.

PersonNamedUser · Postby **PersonNamedUser** » Tue Jun 16, 2015 3:00 pm

I gave my character a update!

PersonNamedUser · Postby **PersonNamedUser** » Thu Jun 18, 2015 4:03 am

I gave my character a BIG story upgrade and improvement.

Postby **Shadow Yoshi** » Thu Jun 18, 2015 9:41 am

Muyoko: I like your character but I'm not sure yet if we're ready to accept someone that was formerly human. Do you think you could adjust your character a bit and just include the parts about her Beanish life?

SuperMario12345: Before I can analyze your character, you need to improve your English (namely syntax and punctuation). Make sure that's perfect.

PersonNamedUser · Postby **PersonNamedUser** » Thu Jun 18, 2015 4:08 pm

My Character got a huge text and grammar improvement.

Muyoko · Postby **Muyoko** » Thu Jun 18, 2015 6:03 pm

Joey wrote:Muyoko: I like your character but I'm not sure yet if we're ready to accept someone that was formerly human. Do you think you could adjust your character a bit and just include the parts about her Beanish life?

I can try. I'll remove the beginning bits and then add more to her Beanish life. Sorry I haven't done it yet.

Postby **Shadow Yoshi** » Thu Jun 18, 2015 6:16 pm

That's okay! I really do like the idea of humans being transformed and that's something we'll accept for sure later on. If you want to keep that in the back of your mind, that's all good, just don't mention it in the bio/RP (yet!).

Muyoko · Postby **Muyoko** » Thu Jun 18, 2015 6:19 pm

Joey wrote:That's okay! I really do like the idea of humans being transformed and that's something we'll accept for sure later on. If you want to keep that in the back of your mind, that's all good, just don't mention it in the bio/RP (yet!).

I updated it without the obvious 'She was human guys!' ideas that I had. It is a bit shorter. I am sorry she was such a hassle to fix. I will still keep this idea in mind, but in the RP it should not (hopefully) be brought up until asked.