Character Creation/Approval Thread

[PersonNamedUser]

Now do I have enough information?

Better, but why does he create arguments?

He sometimes creates arguments by saying something about stuff he doesn't agree with which usually ends up leading to an agreement.

[Shadow Yoshi]

You need to develop that more within your character, SuperMario12345.

[PersonNamedUser]

The Personality has been developed more.

[FanofSMBX]

Name: Goomblake
Gender: Male
Age: College-aged
Species: Goomba
Appearance: Goomblake always carries his scarlet cell phone around to look stuff up. He is of rather average appearance, but instead of being beige, his abdomen has a floral orange-and-white Hawaiian pattern on it. Instantly noticeable is the cool, stylish fedora atop his head.
Personality: Goomblake is inquisitive but also rather nosy. He likes to learn and know everything about a given creature or area, even when it is dangerous to do so. He is apt to linger around areas instead of pressing forward, even when it is detrimental to others' interests. He also can be rather foolish in real-world situations outside of school and the dorm. He's not exactly greedy, but he is eager to pay off his student loans.
Background: Growing up poor, Goomblake always entertained himself with going outside and reading encyclopedias. This instilled a love of knowledge and made him aspire to travel the world and catalogue its secrets. Goomblake was the first in his family to earn a scholarship and go to college, but he got a job and started earning disposable money. Unfortunately, he kept mismanaging his money, like giving his "friends" loans and eating in restaurants a lot, and he blew off studying, so he quickly ran out of money for college even with the job (despite the fact that he can afford a cell phone and data plan). Nowadays, he works at his old university, the University of Goom, as a customer service representative. He commonly takes breaks to adventure for memories and money, but this has not put him in the university's good graces. He spends his afternoons unproductively reading fanfiction, watching television. and browsing the Internet. His aspiration is to be paid to explore the Mushroom World, but unfortunately for him the college he left already covered all 4 corners of it. Goomblake simultaneously looks up to and is jealous of Mario for all the secret places in Dinosaur Land and the Mushroom Kingdom that he discovered.

[Radishl]

Name: Damon
Gender: Male
Age: Highschool aged
Species: Hammer bro

Appearance: Damon has slick black hair that runs down to his eyes. Has both a black shell with white line patterns throughout it and a black and white helmet. Ontop of his helmet are multicolored feathers that droop down to his shell. Across Damon's neck is a necklace with a blue crystal in the middle. The beads of the necklace are multicolored and can change color depending on mood. Spikes protrude out through the shell in specific symmetrical points. Damon has two katanas with a black and red handle which stick out of his medium sized, light brown knapsack.
Unlike the usual hammer bro species, Damon has a dark reddish skin complexion. This skin type causes him to become resistant to lava and other hot surfaces. Damon has black boots polished so well to the point they smarkle in certain instances, especially in a bright and sunny day. Damon also has two mini hammers aswell as a large black hammer on both sides of his knapsack, attached to a hook.

Personality: Brash and brazen, Damon has a charming personality that never fails to astonish onlookers.
At best his cocky demeanor causes him to triumph against foes and at worst gets him into fights among his comrades.
Damon suffers from anger however and is quick to snap on occasion. Despite his apparent power and confidence, Damon is quick to shy away when challenged. This often hurts his reputation as a result.

Background: Damon was born in the outskirts of the Dark land. Being the first born child, Damon had to face a lot of challenges on his own. This caused him to develop the personalities he has now. Having been trained in the barracks of the Koopa troop, Damon is very well adapt to the battlefield. Showcasing an array of fighting, and military combat when pushed to fight. Damon spent the majority of his childhood within the barracks.

Damon had been training until he was 12, the last attack by Mario on the Turtle empire. As a result of this, the Koopa troop disbanded. Damon, grief stricken at the death of his people, caused him to develop anger issues. Damon wandered the Mushroom World looking for new opportunities and people to challenge. He found a place to call home in the forests of the Mushroom Kingdom. Specifically he found an Inn full of people just like him, people who fled the Dark land.

The people of the inn trained and fought with Damon occasionally and together they taught him a wide diversity of battle tactics and skills. They even gave him various weapons including two katanas. Eventually, Damon got himself into trouble in the inn. Caught stealing various weapons, Damon was forced to run away. Damon continued his long and lonely journey in the Mushroom kingdom.

[Ecruteak]

I've updated my post. I gave him a proper name, expanded his personality and explained his translator in more detail.

[Streetzero]

I figured if I'm going to stick around, I should get to know you all. I think RPing might be a good way of doing that. So here I am.

Name: Prism
Gender: Male
Age: 19
Species: Fire Bro
Appearance: Looks just as your standard Fire Bro would look, except he wears red fingerless gloves and a sharp, pointed helmet. (Think that of Zero from his own series, but without the blue gem and the black is white, as in the standard Fire Bro helmet colour scheme)
Personality: Prism follows the path of the warrior. He lives to become stronger, and as a result he doesn't talk too much as it doesn't help him. When he does talk however, he is a rather kind-hearted, soft-spoken and polite person (despite his goals) who will at least try to help out anyone who asks, no matter what it is they might need help with. Usually he doesn't do a good job unless it involves fighting, so he has something of an inferiority complex. On the bright side, though, he knows how to suppress his feelings and remain calm even when he feels lesser than others.
Background: Prism was born in a forest, alongside his twin brother - a Hammer Bro named Paris - and lived there for the vast majority of his childhood in a treehouse built by his parents. In this time, Prism was something of a loudmouth who really didn't know when to shut up. As a result, he was constantly told to quieten down and that remains part of the reason he doesn't talk much. Prism was also always something of a clumsy kid in his childhood and when his parents needed him to help out in the house, he would always end up breaking something. Eventually his parents just started asking Paris to do things instead; leaving Prism to feel useless. This is where his inferiority complex started to form.
Come the age of 14, both Prism and Paris set out on a journey to travel the world. While on their travels, they tended to get caught in poor situations: however they usually always escaped without any issues. At some point however, Roy Koopa shown up and began terrorizing the village the twins were resting in with a small group. In the panic, Prism ended up setting his own hands and feet alight while trying to fight; he began to fight off Roy's group like that instead. Despite his efforts, Prism couldn't keep up with his brother and they were separated. These events greatly upset Prism, and due to that he couldn't help his brother his inferiority complex came into full swing. It was here that Prism decided he must become stronger so he doesn't have to deal with such events again.

[Shadow Yoshi]

Prism: I think you should develop more on his personality and how it integrates with his background. For example, what situations have brought out his inferiority complex and how have others sought out his help? Also, make sure you're using proper punctuation and that you're not writing like you're speaking.

I've updated my post. I gave him a proper name, expanded his personality and explained his translator in more detail.

What I meant earlier was that you should remove all instances of "ShyGuy37" and references to your real life. Things like YouTube channels aren't really appropriate either. Other than that, it's better. Are we sure Shy Guys speak their own specific language, though?

[PersonNamedUser]

Why are you ignoring me? Because I fixed my character.

[Shadow Yoshi]

Radishl: Needs more background info.

Why are you ignoring me? Because I fixed my character.

I'll go ahead and approve your character on the grounds that when you make more posts in this forum you'll do so with proper English. Once again, I don't want your posts to get deleted.

[Streetzero]

Alright, I think I've fixed it. Should be all good to go now.

[Radishl]

Name: Damon
Gender: Male
Age: Highschool aged
Species: Hammer bro

Appearance: Damon has slick black hair that runs down to his eyes. Has both a black shell with white line patterns throughout it and a black and white helmet. Ontop of his helmet are multicolored feathers that droop down to his shell. Across Damon's neck is a necklace with a blue crystal in the middle. The beads of the necklace are multicolored and can change color depending on mood. Spikes protrude out through the shell in specific symmetrical points. Damon has two katanas with a black and red handle which stick out of his medium sized, light brown knapsack.
Unlike the usual hammer bro species, Damon has a dark reddish skin complexion. This skin type causes him to become resistant to lava and other hot surfaces. Damon has black boots polished so well to the point they smarkle in certain instances, especially in a bright and sunny day. Damon also has two mini hammers aswell as a large black hammer on both sides of his knapsack, attached to a hook.

Personality: Brash and brazen, Damon has a charming personality that never fails to astonish onlookers.
At best his cocky demeanor causes him to triumph against foes and at worst gets him into fights among his comrades.
Damon suffers from anger however and is quick to snap on occasion. Despite his apparent power and confidence, Damon is quick to shy away when challenged. This often hurts his reputation as a result.

Background: Damon was born in the outskirts of the Dark land. Being the first born child, Damon had to face a lot of challenges on his own. This caused him to develop the personalities he has now. Having been trained in the barracks of the Koopa troop, Damon is very well adapt to the battlefield. Showcasing an array of fighting, and military combat when pushed to fight. Damon spent the majority of his childhood within the barracks.

Damon had been training until he was 12, the last attack by Mario on the Turtle empire. As a result of this, the Koopa troop disbanded. Damon, grief stricken at the death of his people, caused him to develop anger issues. Damon wandered the Mushroom World looking for new opportunities and people to challenge. He found a place to call home in the forests of the Mushroom Kingdom. Specifically he found an Inn full of people just like him, people who fled the Dark land.

The people of the inn trained and fought with Damon occasionally and together they taught him a wide diversity of battle tactics and skills. They even gave him various weapons including two katanas. Eventually, Damon got himself into trouble in the inn. Caught stealing various weapons, Damon was forced to run away. Damon continued his long and lonely journey in the Mushroom kingdom.

[Shadow Yoshi]

Approved Damon and Prism. These will be the last ones that'll be able to join the current RP if they wish, unless somebody comes in within the next day and has a character that is approved before I introduce a wave of characters.

Feel free to create more characters, though. That process doesn't have to stop.

[Ecruteak]

What I meant earlier was that you should remove all instances of "ShyGuy37" and references to your real life. Things like YouTube channels aren't really appropriate either. Other than that, it's better. Are we sure Shy Guys speak their own specific language, though?

I see. I've fixed all references to my life and added a bit more to the personality and background. And Shy Guys do speak their own language- they make little "woi, wao, waoo" noises. I learnt from playing Mario Kart and various other games.

[Shadow Yoshi]

I'd like some more detail about the adventure he went on with the puzzle, but I'll approve him nonetheless. You can join the RP as well if you'd like.

[FanofSMBX]

Approved Damon and Prism. These will be the last ones that'll be able to join the current RP if they wish, unless somebody comes in within the next day and has a character that is approved before I introduce a wave of characters.

Feel free to create more characters, though. That process doesn't have to stop.

Joey I'm sorry for bugging you but you never replied to my improved Goomblake post

[Shadow Yoshi]

Your character kind of overuses the concepts of the internet/cell phones/etc. and needs more development in background and personality outside of that.

[Erik]

Name: Jack Koopa
Age: 20
Gender: Male
Species: Koopa
Occupation: Commander of the Koopa Troop Navy fleet 7

Appearance:
Jack has messy black hair, a dark red shell and a brown hat. He has the same teeth as Morton and he's is about as tall as Larry, although he's about as old as Ludwig.

Personality
Jack is a sailor, he loves the sea and his ship, the Victory. He is a funny person with barely understandable humour. He is also not very smart, "he mostly does before he thinks"

Background:
Jack is born in a village, close to Grumble Volcano, Dark Land. When he was 10 years old, he fell into the Grumble Volcano. Everyone thought he was dead, but he landed on an abandoned food/drinks basement. He could survive there for 3 years with mainly dry bread and water. When he found a way to escape the village was destroyed, who could have done this? He travelled to the borders of Dark Land.

After 5 years of travelling he saw a village and went there. Then he saw Mario and hide himself in a coffee bar. When he looked out of the window he saw Mario fighting Ludwig, Lemmy, Roy & Iggy. Mario lost and runned away as fast as he could. Then they came into the bar, Ludwig: "4 coffee, please". They talked about something, but it wasn't understandable because they were almost whispering. Jack tried to understand it and then Ludwig showed his brothers a map. He said the words; "If we don't only take Peach, but her house as well". They started laughing. The next day Jack took a Wiggler so he could travel faster. After 3 days he was at Bowser's Castle (Grumble Volcano is on the other side of Dark Land). He became a member of the special forces. One day he was at home, he heard someone was banging on his door. It was Ludwig, with Lemmy, Roy and Iggy. Jack; "Come in". Ludwig; "Thank you". Jack gave them coffee and then Ludwig said: "We need a commander for the navy". Jack was so surprised that he dropped his coffee. Since that day he's been commander of the Koopa Troop Navy fleet 7.ame: Jack Koopa

[Shadow Yoshi]

"Same as the Koopalings" is not a species. "Koopa" is fine. References to rum and beer don't really fit and should be removed. Needs more personality development and more background info.

Your post also has numerous structural flaws, including English grammar/spelling/punctuation errors, short sentences, instances of script writing, and inline dialogue.

[Erik]

How about it now?